My boyfriend (M18) makes me (F18) constantly upset with some of his actions and things that he says. We have been long distance for four months now due to college, and he will be back home with me for the rest of the summer starting in a month. My whole life, I have always avoided telling people how I feel about what they say to me and how they treat me, but he has really encouraged me to open up and share my feelings with him. But, this has caused some issues. Now, when I feel even slightly hurt but something he says, I mention it and we start arguing again. Or, I go completely silent because I feel hurt which starts another argument. I know I am in the wrong sometimes because my brain will take what he says out of context and jump to conclusions. He will always apologize, but it’s just hard because I keep feeling hurt and it seems to happen a lot. I’m not sure if it’s the distance that’s making it worse or what, but it’s just stressful sometimes. And sometimes it will be the smallest things. I am definitely not a person who cares about what people say to me, but when it come to him it’s different. I just want to stop feeling like this and stop dwelling so much on the things he says because I know he does mean well, and I want to be able to move past it quicker.
TLDR: my boyfriend keeps making me upset which leads to arguments, and I want to know why that happens and how to fix it.
1 comment
Whether or not it’s easy to admit it, you know he means well, and are becoming upset regardless. The problem, as you’ve guessed, likely lies with you, or the situation you’re in.
Your description is a bit vague, but if you are taking things out of context and getting mad about them, and then he’s STILL taking the initiative to apologize, that means that YOU are discontent with something. The only real solution is to wait until you’re back together, spend some time in person to see if it really is the distance; and if it isn’t, then reconsider if you’re happy together, and communicate with him about your feelings.