Earlier today our neighbors (all definitely no older than like 19-20) and my partner got into a crazy argument over the dumpster… Ya thats right, the fucking dumpster. We have a huge problem with it filling up 2 days after it gets dumped, and he thought that they didn’t live in the same apartment complex, since we have never seen them before. He asks them (but in a very pissy, smart-ass tone) if they lived “here” and so of course the young women replied with a smart-ass answer… Apparently he’s the ONLY one who can get like that with someone, because he FLEW OFF THE HANDLE, and made this situation waayy bigger than it was supposed to get. He shouldn’t have said anything. It escalated to him cussing, screaming like a fucking maniac, and threatening them! We’ve had issues with his anger before, and he’s getting mental help and taking meds, but today was basically my last straw. They (the neighbors) also pointed out how him and I have had raging fights in the past, it being early in the morning and even down to what we have fought about..thats the embarrassing part. BTW, we have been together for almost 2 years, and have a 9mo old together. (Yes the pregnancy obviously was not planned, and we moved in together VERY quickly 😬) Don’t really know what I’m looking for on here with this post, just need to get it off my chest. We don’t fight as often as we used to, but when we do, they get… EFFING BAD. Like him screaming at me, borderline verbal abuse, accusing me of cheating for absolutely NO reason at all, ect.
Do I wait for him to heal from his trauma that causes this mental illness, and wish for him to get better or is there no hope? I love him DEARLY WITH ALL OF MY FUCKING BEING 🙃😥 but today..today was a breaking point for me.
5 comments
This isn’t ‘bordering on abuse’, it’s abuse. And you’re exposing your children to it – in their formative years – if it’s not addressed. Plenty of people have trauma and it doesn’t cause or excuse abusing their partners and children. And even if it is his trauma causing emotional dysregulation, he needs to gain tools to manage that or else not be in a relationship and around small children.
Ya it sounds basically like your partner has some serious mental health issues.
I get that. Honestly when I started reading about the dumpster I was like “oh boy…oh man…I get it. I *get where this dude is coming from*.”
It’s hard now to think back about times like that.
My wife/gf at the time, was at her wits end a few times before I finally was really able to solve the problems. I wasn’t an angry confrontational guy but I was miserable and upset about the whole world and I vented about it constantly at home, I was super negative; I was drinking and taking drugs too much, I was working too much, I never slept, and as a result I was a fucking *pleasure* to be around. She almost left more than once.
She had every right to go every single one of those times.
I am here to tell you there’s hope but I am also here to tell you that you can’t have a healthy serious relationship with someone who isn’t dealing with their issues. And only you can decide when it’s time to go.
I’m lucky my wife stayed but…these are obviously very different situations.
Girl you need to get out somehow. You know you’re not happy and it’s any second something major is going to happen.
You’re too young to wait around for someone else to fix themselves. F that. You have a baby to raise & seeing fighting like that does damage to a developing baby’s brain. These are the times the baby should be witnessing love and affection not screaming matches
Why are you exposing your child to this tantruming man? This anger will continue unless you get out and show him real consequences to his actions.
I love how these people are trying to bash me by saying I’m exposing my children to the toxicities. Starting to hate reddit, and this will probably be my last post. I come here to get shit off my chest, not get bashed. 🙄