My gf and I (ftm) are both eachothers firsts, and for a very long time I was too dysphpric about my genitalia, but eventually we opened up into sex, and me recieving head. After the first few times, I was eager to try again, and that’s when I noticed her being incredibly apprehensive. I asked what was wrong and she revealed that my taste was so disgusting it causes her to gag. The embarrassment of this, and the guilt of me having her do that for me when I didn’t know ended up with me developing vaginismus, which has persisted for months. Is there anything I can do about this? We’ve used flavoured lube but she had to apply it so liberally I can’t feel anything anyways.
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I’m a bit confused by your title. presumably your girlfriend uses she/ her, no?
Your girlfriend doesn’t like having her face in a vulva. Not everyone does. If a person is extremely averse to normal human smells, how does one fix that? It makes a difference if this is just about her not liking the idea of performing oral sex vs. hating the actual smells in a human female crotch. You need to figure out which it is and find a progressive way to desensitize her if she just hates the idea of performing oral. But if she just doesn’t like the smell/taste of oral sex, I don’t know what you can do.
I gotta ask…has she had bottom surgery? It would be interesting to know if she hates the smell/taste of her own genitals, also. Like, would she kiss you in the mouth after YOU perform oral sex on *her*?
Try a more transfriendly sub.
Just to clear one thing up: the smell and taste changes with testosterone (same with estrogen for trans women and there might some changes in menopause). So it might not have always been like this.
One thing you can do here is get a local topical estrogen solution to relieve the vaginismus (it doesn’t pass much to the bloodstream, it mostly acts upon the nearby tissues). A transmasc sub might give you other tips regarding this.