I am a student at a school I moved to a few months ago. I quickly made friends and became quite close with a few. Over time, I made more and I’m friends with quite a lot of people. However, joining a new school halfway across the entire course has meant that people have already formed extremely close bonds with each other, so my friendships are nothing in comparison. I am never asked to go out, I see my friends hanging out all the time and I just sit by idly. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to seem like a bitch or a weirdo and invite myself to their meetups, but I’m done with being a loner at home. It really hurts especially that it’s the holiday and I haven’t even gone out once.
2 comments
They aren’t real friends. A lot of people go through what you’re going through right now. It’s a quiet form of social ostracism and it hurts, most of all when you begin questioning your own sanity; are they doing it on purpose? Do they know that they’re hurting me?
The answer is yes and no. It’s possible that you’re the scapegoat and you’re being purposefully excluded. It could be that they don’t think you want to go to begin with. Either way it is not worth breaking your neck over.
Here’s a concept that works: find friends who actively want you around and ditch those who don’t bother asking. It’s a relief, truly.
I might be a bit of help as a student myself who switched schools almost two years ago and honestly there’s not much you can do. I’m sure some of these guys have known each other for years maybe even since childhood, but you don’t have that and you never will. It doesn’t mean you’ll never become close with any of them. You’re pretty lucky that you made friends right away, and now all you have to do is be patient. Continue to make an effort trying to spend time with the friends you have and don’t be too picky because you don’t have the same option these other guys do. I’m sure with a little bit of patience and social effort you can get the friends and meaningful experiences you want. I hope this answers your question!