Those who have gained more than 20 lbs since marriage, do you feel bad for your spouse?

8 comments

1. How is it deceitful or dishonest to your spouse to gain weight? There’s a myriad of reasons for weight gain so I’m not really understanding why it would be something wrong you’re ‘doing’ to your spouse.

2. First, 20lbs isn’t excessive. Second, I don’t feel bad one bit. Am I self conscious or irritated with myself? Sure. But I don’t feel bad for others, that seems really bizarre and unhealthy.

3. I went from around 118 lbs. to 140 lbs. on birth control. It’s the reason I switched to the copper IUD.

   My husband loved it but even that extra 22 lbs. made me feel crappy. Less energy, more out of breath going up the stairs, sudden indigestion that I never had prior to gaining the weight.

   I didn’t like it. I felt bad for him when I lost the weight again, but I feel much better when I hover around 120 lbs.

4. I’ve gained 30 lbs. I don’t feel bad about it at all. When we met I was in a really bad place with my eating disorder. I was barely 89 lbs. How in the hell is gaining weight dishonest or betrayal to your spouse? What kind of awful thinking is that?

5. My husband loves me for my mind, my heart, and my boobs. Boobs have gotten bigger and he still thinks I’m hot so no I don’t feel bad. We don’t weigh each other before deciding if we’re still in love and happy.

6. 20 lbs is not a big deal at all. Mine has gained about 150 lbs…that is different. He doesn’t look like the same person and it has changed his whole lifestyle. I wouldn’t say it’s a betrayal, but it has definitely impacted my attraction and our relationship is different because he doesn’t want to do anything fun or social anymore.

7. No? How is my body changing a “betrayal”? We got married with the understanding that we weren’t going to look exactly the same forever.

8. I gained 40 pounds thanks to her. She finds it funny…