32M and my slow-moving career progress has made me hesitant to put myself out there from a dating perspective. Something tells me I should wait until I make more money, but at the rate things are going, I’ll be in my late 30s-40 before I get my first date. I’m just wondering if there’s something to that or if it’s all in my head.
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If you wait that long to start dating you’ll be that dude in his 40’s that has no idea how to interact with your date and it’ll be that much harder.
Relationships aren’t all about money. If you can support yourself then that’s usually good enough for people.
You’re just coming from a place of fear of rejection. If you meet someone who likes, respects, and accept you for who you are, then you should pursue things with her.
You are overthinking it. Dating doesn’t have to mean super serious long term dating. And tons of healthy relationships have people at different career points. I think the bigger issue is when two people are on completely different arcs. But even that can work.
Stop overthinking it and get out there! Hit me up if you need online dating advice.
If you’re looking for a committed long-term relationship (and especially marriage), then it’s better to wait until your financial situation is better. FB or FwB is a completely different thing.
Idk man, you’re 32 clock is ticking if you want a family, trust me you don’t want to be in your 50s when your kids want to play
There’s never going to be a ‘right’ time. Imo what’s more important to women is that you’re trying to progress in your career and hopefully grow as a person. A lot of people can’t say that, they’re just stuck at the same dead end job and stuck in a rut. You are certainly worthy of love regardless of your career, but the simple fact that you are trying to improve and grow is appealing. Life’s too short, OP. Get out there!
20 years of marriage 2 kids and a divorce that wasn’t toxic
Get yourself that sugar momma! Really, though, you need to realize that even if you find someone that is equal to you in career now, that all can change at the drop of a hat. One of you can lose your job, one of you can decide to start over, one of you can quit to focus on self/family, etc. Career stage/progress is fluid.
Using that attitude, you are shooting yourself in the foot, before you ever get out there. You are holding yourself back – not someone that you determine is “ahead” of you.
Almost every couple has someone that is “ahead” of the other career wise, and sometimes it is one person, sometimes it is the other. Either way, the person that is “ahead” career wise, obviously still sees value in the other person. While a career and financial responsibility can be important, they do not necessarily define you.
In today’s world there’s going to be plenty of women who are better off with their finances/career than a lot of men, it’s something both parties are going to have to understand and live with in order for relationships to work out.
I’ve never had the opportunity to date a woman who can support me in the manner of which I wish to become accustomed.
Dudes that work at the mall get married and have happy lives.
Quit over complicating things.
Dated a rich girl in university. She treated me like her pet. It was kind of hot for a while but eventually I wanted to be loved and she didn’t feel like it. I haven’t recovered from that emotionally and I haven’t dated anyone or even attempted to date anyone in the five years since.
What do you mean slow-moving career? Is it becoming a doctor or lawyer? Because yea, that’s just how it is but you don’t have to find someone you’re looking to be married or long term relationship with
Typically dating just happens, if you click with someone, you just have fun in the moment and that’s it
I can understand why youd be worried about that. My parents raised me to believe that men make the most money in the house.
Might have been true once but it’s 2022 bro. There are people out there who still believe that but I don’t go out with those people no matter how much money they make.
The good ones won’t care as long as you can pay your own bills
I couldn’t care less
Dated and then married one. It’s not bad unless you make it an issue. Your worth in a relationship shouldn’t be dictated by your income, and if it does then that’s a big fat 🚩
Also, I found that having someone “ahead” of me gave me motivation to excel in my field and the drive to see my goals through
My wife and I both make very comfortable livings. Our Salaries are almost identical, though her bonus puts her about 20-30% ahead of me. Income is only half of the equation though. We don’t have any shared accounts. I pay the mortgage and utilities, and she just pays me half of that. So we stay even there. With that in mind, I was irresponsible earlier in life, and i’m still paying off a sizable loan. She knows i have the payment, but has never asked me how much the total amount, or my monthly payment is, and I’m honestly embarrassed to admit to her what it is. I’ve been responsible for the past 5 years or so, and I’m getting closer to being done with it. In the meantime, one of the hardest things is when it comes time to make big money decisions like home renovations or vacation plans, she doesn’t understand why I am not readily able to spend as much as her. It’s very frustrating, and like i said, embarrassing.
Seriously? You are not going to try to date until you make a lot of money? Bro, just stop being a weirdo and go talk to women already, jesus christ, you kids cockblock yourselves all day long don’t you.
You can still “attempt” to date. And I say attempt because meeting women feels fucking impossible most of the time. But anyway, out of the ones I’ve met, it’s honestly never even come up. Although I do have my own place so maybe they just assume I already make a certain amount but idk.
Also, I always keep first dates super simple. If I can’t enjoy a coffee or walk in the park or something like that with her, I don’t see why in the hell I’d waste time and money on some fancy dinner with her.
I wanna say most people don’t care but there’s got to be a reason why I see a lot of guys with women 3-5 years younger than them
Women are hypergamous by nature so be wary when seriously dating women who out earn you, as this often becomes a problem for them eventually. I recommend dating younger girls who are more agreeable, cooperative, fertile, fit and fun and who you are likely to out earn, which is what women find attractive. Find a girl that will get on your program and will invest in a future with you, as a man hits their financial stride between age 45-55.
If you are looking for something casual, who cares, hang out with anyone you find attractive but screen for crazy.
As long as you have enough money to pay for the date, you’re good dude.
it was never an issue, I make enough to do what I want, she made a bit more so we did what we wanted.