I have autism and ADHD and find it hard to engage in interesting conversations with people. Seems like there’s too many issues to address them all, but I think two issues are that it’s hard to stay focused, and I don’t know enough about many topics to continue conversations.
When other people talk, it takes a lot of effort for me to stay focused on what they’re saying. It might be easier if it’s a topic I like, but even then my mind can wander if I don’t concentrate.
Even when I know what the conversation is about, I almost never think of anything interesting to say. It takes so much effort to stay focused on what they might say next that I can’t take a moment to think of a follow-up question or comment. By the time I would think of something, people have moved on to a different topic. It seems like most conversations require a lot of knowledge about the subject that I seem to lack. I can’t tell if I need more knowledge about things in the world, or if I need to get better at responding faster.
I’ve thought about engaging more in chat groups since I’m better at written communication than verbal communication, and I would have more time to respond. But it’s hard to motivate myself to read chats so I know what they’re talking about, even though I try to join groups for topics I like. A lot of chats I read don’t interest me, and I don’t know how to search for something that interests me.
I would probably do better with 1:1 conversations, but I don’t have any friends I’m eager to talk to, and I don’t know how to identify new people in online groups that I’d want to talk to (if they were open to DM’s).
How can I learn to address these issues? Thanks.
1 comment
Are you me? I have the same exact issues omg, especially the part about feeling like you’re missing knowledge.
You should “force” yourself to observe chats for a while in groups of topics you enjoy, it helps getting to know people there and recognize their users and what they usually talk about so that at some point you might feel comfortable enough to slip in the convo or start one yourself (maybe with a specific question?). Usually, you might click with someone in particular and find yourself naturally talking one to one. Irl tho, i just usually limit myself to listening. If its a topic you don’t know about, it might help to ask general questions (even if you’re not interested) to seem like you’re engaged in the convo! I like also like asking personal preferences, it’s easier to make someone talk if its their person opinion and preference, so you don’t have to do much of the talking 🙂
On a side note, you also don’t need to feel like you need to engage in convos if you find it stressful, you will find people who won’t mind if you simply listen to them or take your time with your answers.
Sorry if this doesn’t help !