Hi I’m just really needing some advice on my situation as I’m a bit confused
I’ve been talking to this guy for almost 2 months now (I know not very long) and we talk every day throughout the day and we get along really well. I finally got to meet him for the first time about a week ago and we hit it off really well and I stayed at his house a few times over the course of that week and we went out and did things together. He’s super affectionate in person and over text but after that week of hanging out I haven’t been able to meet up with him again since as he says he’s been busy with work or health related issues (he has a chronic illness as do I so I am very understanding of this). I ended up biting the bullet a couple of days ago and said to him that I really enjoy talking/hanging out with him and I would really like to see where things could go with us and his reply was that he’s really enjoying seeing/talking to me aswell but he’s wanting to take things slow because he’s been hurt in the past. When I last saw him we ended up sleeping together but he did ask me if I was comfortable with doing this and I did ask if he was aswell. I just really want some advice on this and to see if he’s just stringing me along or not I know we haven’t been talking for long but I’d really like to see things go forwards with this guy
Edit: he has told me also that he is very much a relationship type of person and doesn’t just sleep around with anyone, he also initiates majority of the plans for us to see eachother again but ends up cancelling.
13 comments
Believe it or not, Men have feelings too and don’t like being trampled on. It does happen and it does leave a lasting impact. He’s being forthright with you, ( we hope) just also ensure that you’re looking for consistencies in his behavior. Some people hide behind that Just to “play a field”.
There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow. He’s upfront with how he wants to take things. And that alone is great.
If you’d really like to see things forward with this guy then don’t put expectations on the amount of time it takes for both of you to see things forward
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It is perfectly fine for anyone to take things slowly. I would be more cautious about him being in control of contact and canceling.
I usually find people who say they want to take things so from being hurt, are not mentally ready to be in a relationship. When they’re ready, they will not tell you that, they will just be ready for it with an open mind(usually at that point they’re healed from their past relationship).
You are both on different pages, you defintely have your answer. The choice is yours if you want to continue or you can go your seperate ways.
I’m same way . And I’m up front and very non filter so no feelings are hurt I just let it be know I’m just looking for a friend right now hang out chill no strings attached so there’s no who’s that where you been why this and why that and if we fuck we fuck and go about our business and I’m not doing that will multiple women at the same time just that person and if I do sleep with someone else I let it be known and I just ask for the same in return and after doing all that for however long and something grows from it and feelings have grown then I abort and see where things go he says he been hurt probably cause he had a real dirty butt drag him. Fucking every one she knows and everyone he knows so just go with it is what I would say… give the guy a chance and good luck 🍀
Hes just using you. If he wants to take it slowly why he doesnt have even slightest problem with sleeping with you all the time. omg so naive
Why don’t you take him out once and a while if you want to spend time with him maybe he seeing if you put forth an effort in the relationship
Relationships are a journey, not a destination.
You text throughout the day and you’re not even together ? I think you need to slow things down a bit
I 34 m. Am
In the same situation. We started talking in December. We talked everyday for almost 3 months. We met in person hit it off. Ended up sleeping together the 3rd time we hung out. Then she said she want to take things slow and be single for a while as we both just got out of a longterm relationship. We both understand that and have been working on ourselves and doing our own thing. If it’s meant to be it will
Happen. If you like him don’t give up. I like this girl a lot and have been giving her space. I don’t like it but I’m doing what I have to do weather we are going to make it official or not we don’t talk as much anymore but I know there is still a decent chance. Just got out of a 9 year relationship and 7 year marriage.
I thought taking things slow meant ot sleeping together. Seems to me slow went fast, as fast as the trousers came off.