I (26F) recently (in only the last 2 weeks) have started hooking up with a guy friend (25M). We weren’t super close before so we are still getting to know each other a bit. We were texting every day (as friends) before hooking up, and now that we hook up we don’t text much.
After having sex the other day, he looked confused so I asked him what was going through his head. He said he needed to think things over and asked me what we are doing. I said friends with benefits would be fine for now and that I am not looking for anything serious, and he seemed fine with it. but now hasn’t texted me all week and things feel awkward for some reason.
What should I do? I want to stay friends and keep hooking up, and it didn’t seem like he wanted to date which is fine with me. But him asking what we are doing this early on makes me confused about where his head is at. I initiated everything in the first place by kissing first, but now I’m not even sure what I want out of the situation tbh. Maybe he can sense my confusion?
And yes, I will talk to him soon before anyone says that’s what I should do. I just wanted to figure out how to approach it since neither of us is really sure what we want or are doing lol.
TLDR:
– In a new FWB situation that seems to be quickly fizzling since neither of us knows what we want
– Need help figuring out what to do next
3 comments
Well typically FWBs don’t really text each other daily. You mostly text when it’s time to meet up.
You can also just text him and ask him what he thinks about the convo you had and if he’s actually cool with this situation.
I recommend just being honest with him about your feelings and asking him about his. Communication is key in any type of relationship, even a FWB situation. It’s better to know where both of you stand so that you can make informed decisions going forward.
I guess you should ask yourself what “dating” is to you. To me, if I had someone who I was talking to daily and having sex with, I’d consider that dating. Doesn’t mean we’re in love or have to do everything together, but seems like more than just hooking up. So the first thing I’d do in your position is figure out what dating involves in your mind, and what downsides you’re trying to avoid by not calling this dating. Once you know that, you’ll be able to go back to him and explain what you want or don’t want from this relationship.
It sounds like he does want to date, but you could also ask him what he thinks that involves. Try not to get too hung up on the labels and just figure out what you’re both comfortable with. In the end, maybe you won’t be able to continue on as-is, and that’s okay if all that happened is you had a little fun together but realized you had different goals.