My story-
This happened today, i live in hostel being a college student of 2nd year such that my classmates/friends are all here too. Oneday a disgusting smell came to my room the smell that filled up the hallways , so i got abit curious and I found out that the smell came from my friend’s room. I noticed my friend was cooking something so I got a bit closer to smell it then I suddenly got disgusted then turn my head away and said “yuck” and tried to leave the room.
This is where my friend’s roommate(whom i barely knew but was good terms with) got pissed at me and began calling me names. I asked what I did wrong , he then said i insulted his traditional dish and that i hurt his sentiment. I then said ” Bro how was i suppose to know? Also i didn’t say anything insulting about the dish nor judge anyone who likes to eat it…. I just curious where the smell was coming from and I was just about to leave without saying anything”. He won’t even give me the benifit of the doubt and start spitting curses at me. My other friends were there too, they didn’t defend me and stayed silent. I was about to knock this son of a b*tch out for making a big deal out of an honest mistake but I decided to be a better man and walk away without lashing out by spitting curses back at him.
So here we go there’s my story… My head hurts i am angry i am sad. I will let you be the judge of me if I did something wrong.
tldr: got into fight with friend’s roommate over a dish , i try to explain myself but the roommate didn’t let me and started to insult me.
Edit – i made an oopsie… Most people here misinterpreted that I said “yuck” directly to roommate but no it was my friend who was cooking and we tease other time to time.
17 comments
I think your friend’s roommate overreacted and should have given you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe try talking to your friend about it and see if they can mediate a conversation between you and their roommate to clear things up.
>Also i didn’t say anything insulting about the dish nor judge anyone who likes to eat it
By saying “yuck”, that’s exactly what you did.
>I was about to knock this son of … out
You are not going to earn ANY goodwill around here for saying this kind of thing. Hitting someone because they were offended by YOUR behavior is childish and disgusting behavior. (you’re also not allowed to use language like that in your post so you better edit it quick before your post gets deleted)
Yes, generally speaking, insulting peoples’ food, whether it’s a traditional dish, or some weird shit someone threw together out of stuff from their refrigerator, is considered extremely rude.
Next time there’s a smell you don’t like, try TALKING ABOUT IT LIKE AN ADULT (“Hey, that thing you’re cooking is really pungent, can you crack a window next time you cook it?”) or TAKE A WALK
You know he overreacted, but you’re also kind of full of shit aren’t ya? ‘Cause it isn’t ‘just curious’ when you hunt the smell down, say Yuck and are visibly disgusted. Those are actions. Those are actions that are reasonably insulting to another person!
This other person might also be an asshole, but also you walked into someone else’s home and insulted their cooking. Your behaviour was insulting, and you lied about and minimized it when confronted instead of saying “Dude. I’m sorry. I’m sure it’s great for lot of people. It’s just not for me.”
Life’s easier without a stick up your ass. That’s a bit of advice that might be useful for you, as well as for him, but since you’re the one asking: Do a bit better. Don’t be such a bullshitter. If you fuck up just say you fucked up and move on.
Sorry – you are the AH.
If someone is cooking, unless they clearly burnt it, they are generally putting a lot of effort into something they enjoy.
To say “yuck” *is* insulting. You are saying that what they are making is “yucky” or distasteful. It’s rude.
The proper etiquette is to simply smile and leave the room without commentary. Or if it’s really bothering you, you can consult with management at the hostel in terms of whether people are allowed to cook in their room or if there is a designated cooking area.
But the “yuck” comment was uncalled for. Calling you names was probably uncalled for too – but calling you out in general was justified.
An “honest mistake” can still be very insulting to someone, and when he told you how he feels and gave you an opportunity to own your behaviour and apologize you got defensive and tried to insist that you didn’t do anything insulting by coming into the room to see what the smell was and then saying “yuck.” I would tell them you had some time to think about it and realize you were out of line, and apologize, then chalk it up as a learning opportunity.
You didn’t do or say anything insulting to his culture. You didn’t even make the “Yuck” comment directly to him, right? You were just trying to get out of there because you were already offended, at least your nose was. And that’s because of YOUR culture.
You absolutely did the right thing to walk away when he confronted you about it, rather than escalate the fight as you were tempted to do. That would have just dragged you down to his level.
Teenagers can take weird offense at really trivial things sometimes. Five years from now, you’ll probably all look back and think it was hilarious, assuming you even remember what happened. Try to shake it off, and don’t hold a grudge against your friend’s roommate for unloading on you the way he did. Maybe it’s a traditional meal he prepares when he’s feeling kinda lonely and homesick, so in the moment it really did feel to him like you were dissing his family and his culture.
Also, in the future…don’t be so quick to investigate those strange smells in the hallway LOL.
That was rude of you and the fact that their reaction made you think of violence is concerning. You are the very clear problem here.
Food from a culture that isn’t your own smells. Food in general smells. Get tf over it.
You sound like a jerk, but you’re right that the easiest way to handle jerks is to just quietly be glad when they get scared off by the smell of food they don’t like.
If l caught some mofo cooking some curry in his bedroom you better know ima gonna make fun of you till you move the f’ out!
You have nothing to apologise for. An absolutely incompetent, inconsiderate AH and his useless chef cooked something vulgar, and failed to ventilate. Once a putrid stench gets into your area, that’s on them. You’ve every right to find out where it’s coming from and remonstrate.
Good for you. I’ve been places where they eat cats, dogs, even flies. You don’t have to tolerate stench in your country though.
You didn’t even deliberately insult them. They are the AH, not you. FT. Who even gets mad about that stuff! I’ve complained about risotto before because I cannot stand blue cheese, the smell makes me wretch, and it travels, boy does it travel.
But do tell us what it was!
How is it an “honest mistake” to say yuck OUT LOUD??
Your both AHs, him for cooking something he knows smells foul and likely knew it smelled bad and you for being culturally insensitive. I eat foods that no one in my family likes the smell of but they go nose blind after a bit. I also warn them when I’m cracking the container open. A little more tact from everyone would be nice but you’re all young and will learn eventually. The friends roommate would likely be oblivious in the future and microwave a leftover fish dish too…
Good god you’re an asshole
He overreacted for sure and that’s upsetting. If you wanted to apologize to him for saying yuck that might help you feel better. You didn’t mean to be insulting. For him to swear at you isn’t right and doesn’t sound like a person I would want to be friends with. You should just focus on you. It was wise of you not to fight him or swear back. That would have just lead to more regrets.
Don’t make disgusted sound at other people’s foods. It’s just a question of good manners. Don’t yuck other’s people yums.
But honestly I find the
> I was about to knock this *** for making a big deal out of an honest mistake
Way more concerning than the yuck. Are you often so overwhelmed by other people that you think to use violence to defend yourself from critics?
*🍅 🍅 🍅*
You’re the wrong one here and not only can’t you see why you’re wrong but want to make yourself the victim
If you’re not familiar with that food or cultural food, it’s reasonable that you would think it was just some gross or weird smell
And then your personality is such that you say “yuck” real loud, as opposed to “pardon me, roommates, does anyone know the origin of this smell and from where it eminates?”
The person cooking it up should also be conscious that it’s a smell that not everyone will like.
Your roommate should have said “sorry bro that’s just me. it’s my dinner. It does have a strong smell of XYZ . I’ll be more careful in the future but now you know what it is and if you’re interested in trying, I’ll be glad to share”
Anyway if you’re all around the same age it’s probably possible that you’re all meeting and interacting with different groups and cultures for the first time.
Learn some cultural awareness and everyone can be more courteous to each other