I’m in a FWB situation and my partner (21F) and I (22M) are having a really good time. Something she said to me is that she has never been able to finish with a partner before. I asked her what she likes and if there are things she’d like me to try and we have done them. Every single time we have sex she says it felt amazing and she really enjoyed herself but she still has never finished. I’m getting really self conscious even though she tells me not to worry about it. Clearly she honestly likes it because this wouldn’t still be happening if she didn’t but I just really want to make her cum and I’m at a complete loss. Whenever I ask what I can do better she just tells me I’m doing fine and that she’s just never cum with a partner. Is there anything I can do to feel less self conscious (or anything I can do better for her) because I’m at a complete loss at this point.
3 comments
I just wanna say this is something a lot of women experience and it is not about your lack of skill. I didn’t orgasm with partners from age 15 to about 21. Know what the secret ingredient was? Love, and feeling like I trusted my partner enough to fully let go. ( Not saying this is true for her, just my experience )
Orgasm is not purely dependent on the physical actions performed but is linked to our emotions, to trust, to past sexual experiences and trauma, to self-image, many other things I’m sure. If she’s telling you not to worry, try your best not to. I know that is so much easier said than done. You just can’t force these things. Maybe spending a longer time on foreplay would be beneficial? As always, ask your partner. If she says she’s enjoying, trust that.
That’s the case for most women. We achieve orgasms from masturbation way more easily than from intercourse. I think my first orgasm with a partner was around age 25, vs 15 or less on my own.
If she can do it alone, she’ll get to orgasm with you more quickly. Lay down with her on top and let her grind, or you can incorporate a toy and stimulate the clitoris with it.
Please listen to her and stop worrying about it. If you make it your mission to make her cum you will take the enjoyment out of sex. I’m like her and I’ve never cum but I absolutely love and enjoy sex. I’m very open with my partners and tell them it’s just not something that happens for me. They ALL insist they will be the guy that does and then the focus goes toward that and the sex becomes a disappointment.