So this was week 3 of learning and focusing on my social skills as someone with ASD. And it felt depressing. I couldn’t find any meetup groups this weekend to go to. I also ran out of ADHD medication and can’t get a refill until later this week due to a technical issue. So today I went to the zoo and then I went to an arcade bar. And during that time I didn’t speak to a single person. It just never felt right for me to talk to anyone. I felt like I was the only person who was at either of these places alone; and it gave me a great feeling of loneliness that overwhelmed my state of mind.
I try telling myself to just enjoy myself and don’t think about socializing, but it honestly doesn’t work for me. Arcade games and bars are genuinely just not fun to me unless I’m already with someone. So I think I’ll just not do that anymore.
The zoo was very crowded and difficult to navigate. I was thirsty and went to a vending machine to get some water, only to find it was out of water. So I opted for Diet Coke next. I pressed the button and out came a Pibb Xtra. Their water fountains are shut off too even though winter is over. I know it’s irrelevant, but all this pissed me off lol.
I posted on Nextdoor and a local Discord asking if anyone wanted to go to the loop tonight and all I got was crickets. It makes me feel like I’m the only lonely person in this huge city that I’m in. I think what I should do is look for a hobby where I have to interact with others.
One thing I did do was set up a calendar on my phone and have lined up multiple meetup events that I want to go to. Next week I plan on going to two events. One of which I may not go to because I don’t want to stay up too late, but we’ll see.
Until next time ✌