Hello everyone!
I’m a 20 year old guy who still happens to be a virgin. Ive been insecure about it for quite awhile especially since I have gotten to college. I’ve noticed I’m the only one of my college friends who is a virgin and I’m roughly a year older than all of them. Its become a big insecurity of mine because I cant relate to them in that way.
Its not easy for me to lose it either because I want to with someone i trust enough to do it with. I haven’t ever been in a relationship or anything close because I’m not very good with interacting in person (I have autism) and I’m not attractive in terms of my looks.
Unfortunately, I have a pretty high sex drive, so certain things are getting boring for me. I feel like I’m ready to have sex I just am looking for the right partner and its been very difficult.
Mainly because of my high sex drive and boredom, I’ve done stuff online with people in the past, but nothing has turned into anything sustained. Its a struggle to find people online who don’t just pick up and leave soon after the fact. I wish I could have something sustained but its really hard to find.
I just really didn’t know where else to go with this all. I’d appreciate any advice or kind words.
Thanks for reading this. I hope you have a great day!
5 comments
It’s okay to be a virgin, man. There’s no need to feel any self degradation for this fact. Saving yourself for someone special is nothing new, and you’re young so being inexperienced in bed is okay. For that special person you’re looking to share your first experience with I’d be open and honest. The right person won’t make fun of you or make it a big deal. If they have experience it will probably make your first time better.
I understand it’s important that the person you share this with is special to you. Obviously when the time comes and you find someone you do care for and it’s mutual, then sex will happen (assumingly). Focusing mainly on the sex aspect isn’t going to get you that special person, to be able to do said act.
Try to shift your focus on dating possibly? and as far you not being attractive, I will let you know one thing girls really don’t like about men, and that’s them stating they don’t think highly of themselves. I have empathy for your situation, but I do want to be honest to help. women do like funny, charming, respectful guys. it really isn’t all about appearance.
in other words, if you care this much about losing your Vcard to someone significant, then focus on finding someone you like/enjoy & those things will come.
hope this helps
Heya :p
Statistically most people are still virgins when they enter college. You won’t be the only virgin in the room. But, Its nobody’s business anyways!
I was desperate to lose my V and took the first AH that came along 😵💫. It was awful. Definitely a good idea to wait for the right moment. ✅️ It’s damn good when you have that relationship love connection. Worth it.
Im 32F and my partner is 34M Autistic with PTSD and ADHD…
Just about the sweetest and most compassionate person I have ever met. I love them and we have grown together in the four years we have been together. Great sex life. Even if that means that sometimes they have dry spells and can’t do too much physical stimuli. That’s alright. 💁🏼♀️ no big.
You CAN have a fulfilling healthy relationship with a satisfying sex life. It is possible, have no fear of that.
Right person won’t care and you shouldn’t care about the bad person. Put yourself in her mind, if she doesn’t care, why would you?
It will probably be better if you lose it to someone you care about. I lost mine at 28 and it was to someone I did care about. It went probably better than most first times because of that. I know today it seems the younger gen kids do it earlier and/or more frequently. But don’t compromise on your morals just because friends are hooking up with people in college. I too had a high sex drive and could have lost it sooner, but I didn’t care for the women. So, I decided to wait until I found someone who was worth it.