Hi, so in august last year I was on hinge to get over my ex and a guy sent me a like. He wasn’t my type but he was into a lot of the same niche interests and same niche ethnicity (I have never met anyone who speaks this dying language) and we got along well. We couldn’t meet as we lived super far away but I was going to move to his city for work so we kept talking. He seemed to be really into me saying “you are so gorgeous I can’t believe you are talking to me, I’m not good enough for you” etc (I straight up told him this is unattractive and pick me vibe).
Then about a week in, he tells me sorry for wasting your time I can’t do this I’m still not over my ex I need to process my feelings. I am super impressed because I was on there for the same reason and this inspired me to also stop talking to people and heal as well. I have a lot of respect for him and I move on. Then three days later he comes back and says that he actually is over his ex, he misses talking to me so much. I say no that’s not possible please work through whatever is going on I want to stay single and focus on myself, as it would be toxic to date anyone right now.
Despite all this over the next few months he regularly replies to my stories, asks me on dates and compliments me loads. I move to his city and he messaged me but I’m going through some of my own issues and I don’t have the confidence or self esteem to date anyone. But after all these months I decided it’s really important to me to date within my culture and he’s the only person I know like this. We also have a lot of the same interests and I totally romanticised him and convinced myself he’s my dream guy. I expressed this to him and he was was very happy and we started taking about meeting and excited about our future. He would randomly text me “I was thinking about you all day”, “I was looking at your Instagram and imagining us together “ and this made me feel really happy.
I still wasn’t in a good state of mind so I didn’t want to meet yet I asked if we can meet in a month and he said that’s perfect for him because he has some exams. But after agreeing he started messaging me to see him then and there that same day which made me panic as I wanted some notice. When I said no he’d leave me on delivered for ages and I also started noticing him following lots of girls (that he doesn’t know). I told him give me a date next month (when we had agreed) he said he can’t actually as he has more exams and then the month after a lot of graduation trips. (So postponed to 2 months later) I know this is true as I verified with his friends but surely he could make some time.
Going from so much affection to this made me really anxious and I’d text him a lot if he wanted to call etc and he would always say he is busy with his exams. I also noticed that he muted my Instagram as he never watched a single story or liked a post when he used to religiously do so before. I really really liked him and saw a long future with him but the slow replies and following new people (particularly a girl from my uni I was very insecure about) made me so anxious I decided to end it.
He then removed me from BeReal because he said seeing me made him feel sad and reminded him what a loser he was for losing me (his own words). Then I felt bad for ending it like maybe I was overreacting his exams are very important and maybe he did meet those girls somewhere. But because I ended it I tried to move on went back on hinge but after scrolling I felt so bad like there’s no one else I wanted to see. I went back to him and texted that I messed up I overreacted, there’s no one else I’d rather meet and I want to work things out. Last week he was desperate to see me, saying sorry I am not good enough for you and calling himself a loser for losing me but when I text him this time he said he doesn’t know what he wants, and can he let me know after the 2 months . I said know because I knew that every day for those 2 months I would feel anxious and stress about him. When I asked him to be straightforward said “it’s a no from me”. I was truly heartbroken and removed I him on every social media. I know I acted clingy and stuff but I believe he really liked me and idk what changed. He is very busy and I know there’s no space to meet another girl (if he had another girl surely wouldn’t have been so desperate towards me). I just want him back, should I follow request him again or do you guys think he will come back on his own accord? He has chased me since august (it’s now April) so I don’t get how months of effort and interest can disappear like that.