My big 4 0 is coming up. My wife keeps asking me what I want to do. Implying some kind of activity filled day. I dont like to make a big deal out of my bday. I honestly just want the day to myself with 0 expectations, schedule, or obligations. Maybe I want to play golf, maybe i’ll watch a movie alone, maybe eat some taco bell with 0 judgement. I just want a day of complete freedom to myself and then dinner at night with my family. Has anybody requested this for their birthday?
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I think part of getting older is acknowledging your birthday actually isn’t all about you. If your birthday isn’t a big deal to you, ask for this, but do you care if it’s that exact day? Imo, let your wife do something fun for you, and ask for a day to yourself as well.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a day to yourself, especially for your birthday.
Explain to your wife that the best gift would be a day to yourself, with no obligations, simply a day of pure relaxation.
I requested this from my family. I got a surprise party.
I am lucky to have a wife who put all that effort into my birthday, but she cannot believe that all I want is a day to myself.
In the future I will pick an activity as a family like going to the park. Something simple that doesn’t cost any money.
I usually integrate that into a birthday celebration. In that on my actual birthday I’ll probably request the day off work and chill out at home all day, and maybe my wife would even take the kid somewhere so I get more time.
Then whatever weekend is closest would be whatever social stuff I’m up for that year.
Yes, for my 50th.
Have requested, have not received. My birthday is just another day to me. Earlier in life it was more but not it means little. Significant others (past and present) want to make it a celebration and I oblige because it makes them happy, which ultimately makes me happy. I can choose another day to be any other day and do all of the me stuff for me.
Some say it is YOUR birthday do what you want and that is fine but if it is just a day for me, why not let someone be happy, especially when that makes me happy. I feel like I’m talking in circles. Point is if you really want the day to be your day and do what you want then maybe see if the others want to celebrate you and your bday on another day, that you would prefer to have it be a you day, whatever that means to you. I’ll let them celebrate on my day and do the me stuff at a convenient time.
Of course, thats totally cool. It sounds like you should do that more often.
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Your birthday, your choice.
Those you care about may want to celebrate with you, but ultimately, I think they should understand that that day is really one of the few days that can be about you.
My family would still want to do something, I would probably compromise and agree to do something another day. Or do something very little.
Do you have children?
I don’t think my birthday is big deal but I have young kids and I do the whole “cake, party, presents” thing for them because its fun (they’re kids lol) and it kinda shows them that they should be okay with celebrating themselves and also for others to put thought into another person’s special day.
I have a colleague turning 40 next month. They are extremely extroverted and have a lot of friends yet are apparently hiking solo in the Himalayas for their actual 40th. Must be a common thing?
>I honestly just want the day to myself with 0 expectations, schedule, or obligations.
Tell her that then, duh. “I want a nice day to myself and then a nice dinner with you guys.” Even better, tell her where you want to go, or what you want to eat, and what you want everyone to be wearing.
Take a personal day afterwards. But don’t push away people that want to be there for you.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I like making a semi big deal out of my kids birthdays and my wife’s birthday but when it comes to my own honestly just a chill evening with friends and family is more than enough, I’m low-key with my birthday like that so I definitely understand the appeal of just wanting a day alone to chill
Both my wife and I have had birthdays where we celebrated an alone day. Just going someplace by yourself and doing what you want. We had to articulate it that way though.
Compromise sometimes is having it a day before or after the actual birthday.
I just passed 40, and I took the day mostly to myself. A small get-together with friends that evening.
I had a party about 2 weeks later; perfect amount of time to finish birthday chillin’ and then throw a bigger shindig later. And the party was fantastic; so great that the last of the guests rolled out little before 5 am ^_^
Yes, and what I got in return might be something you need to hear: It’s not just for you, though. SHE wants to show you that SHE cares, it’s also for her to express herself and how much she cares.
I’d nip it in the bud for the conversation and plan something for the weekend if you want your day. But like… Maybe ask for dinner? If she wants to do something for you, let her. It’s not just for you, you know? She’s probably been looking forward to this for a bit.
Marriage is fun, lol.
Huh, I never would have considered that trying to have a low key birthday would have been an issue when you have a partner and/or kids, that’s interesting. People in this thread are discussing enduring big birthday stuff for others’ sakes and in this case as I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that, speaking as someone who has never wanted a big production and a lot of times ignored it entirely.