Reposting because my last post didn’t get any comments
Basically the title. So me (22F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for the past 2 years and yea we have our fights but they are never anything big or serious so usually we’re back happy by the end of the night. The last few days everything was going just fine (at least that’s what I thought) until this recent past Monday evening, I got home from work and I could tell he wasn’t acting right but I just thought that maybe he was feeling sick. Long story short later that night he tells me that he wants to break up and stay friends, sort some stuff out on his own and maybe start over because he says he doesn’t feel connected with me.
I guess I can understand that because our relationship started off as a tinder ONS so it wasn’t initially build up off a connection or anything
But the problem is I live with him and his parents and my job pays shit and I have no family to let me stay at their place until I find my own place or anything. Luckily He’s not kicking me out or anything but we still sleep in the same bed, and I have no choice but to stay with him until I start a new job and get my own place. It’s just so hard to even look at him without crying. And it’s like he’s fine… I’m literally breaking down, it feels like a piece of me got ripped out all of a sudden and he’s just acting normal like he’s not even sad even though he says that he is but I can’t tell.
My mind can’t help but think that there might be another girl because about a week ago I got a little upset about a girl he was texting but he reassured me that they were just friends but now he’s being very secretive with his phone, he will not leave it around me he always puts it face down and he’s constantly checking it every 5 seconds to see if he got a text. And I’ve never gone through his phone because I trust him but now I don’t know what to think.
And what makes things worse he said he just wants to be friends with me but he still tries to have sex with me everyday. So I’m so confused and when I expressed to him how I’m confused about the situation and why he still has sex with me if he doesn’t want to be with me all he says is “I don’t know what to tell you, sex means nothing to me but I do love and care about you but I don’t want to be with you right now” so basically he still wants to do the same things we’ve done as a couple but he just doesn’t want to be exclusive with me anymore.
So I just don’t know what to do… So I guess my question is what is a good way to get over someone if your still living and talking to them everyday.
7 comments
He’s not sad because he’s in a honeymoon stage with another girl. He doesn’t want to be with you because of that (he might want you back after the honeymoon stage inevitably ends, but no, please don’t), but he wants to continue getting sex and attention from you because he’s a man. He wants you as his comfort zone and this other girl as something new and exciting. He’s using the both of you and is a jerk.
I was in a situation, living with a guy who I found cheating, no family of mine around. I just kept my head down, kept the house clean and did my part, and tried my best to be invisible until I could get out. It was very emotionally taxing. But I was able to leave.
One thing I did to get over him was to write in my phone all the crappy, shady stuff he said and did. Then, on days I was getting a little too friendly with him, I’d go back and read it. It’d bring me back to reality.
He wants to fuck without technically cheating. Break up for good, not temporarily.
You go find someone who isn’t a loser like your soon to be ex. He’s defective.
OH not him trying to sleep with you too 😭 that’s so grimy bro.
And how insulting, “sex means nothing to me” so if he loves and cares for you so much, why are YOU the person on the other end of emotionless sex??
Start off by sleeping on the couch or a different bed or something. If you have supportive family, or friends, talk to them anyway. Get whatever help you can to get your own place or a hotel room or something, I think.
Your BF wants to screw someone else.
Wants the “break” to keep you on standby, just in case.
You OK with that?
This is why you never move in with a guys’ parents, and why you never, ever get this financially dependent on a man.
Just stay out of the house as much as possible and for the love of God stop sleeping in bed with him.
He is monkey branching. He knows you can’t go and wants to keep you available in case the story with the other girl fails.
Try to figure out a better living arrangement maybe it can’t be now but is there a way you can sleep in a separate bedroom or the couch he’s using you for sex but has removed all his emotions for you I think it’s also a load of shit when he ssyd he cares about you?? Like really if he even did 1 he’d not force you to have sex and 2 bed help you find another place ti move asap since he would know that your clearly upset being in the same space as him because your constantly reminded of him and that’s impossible for you to heal emotionally
Overall he’s very very selfish in my opinion