My (26F) husband (29M) is having a really hard time. In the last year, he has changed jobs and its caused him a lot of stress.
His previous job he made good money and he worked day shifts 4 days a week for 10 hour shifts. It was really relaxed and he didn’t have a whole lot to do each day so he never can home tired. He fixed the electrical issues on helicopters and he really enjoyed the job. He moved to a different job because he wasn’t able to advance any further and he wanted better opportunity to increase pay and move up the ranks.
His new job pays significantly more but they have him working nights. We have a son (2M) and are expecting a girl in June. Even though the pay is better, the work is harder so he is tired more. On top of being exhausted all the time, his night schedule takes away time with his son and he hate how little he gets to see us. He’s hoping to move to days and move up to management upon getting his BA in business, in which school just seems to be an added stress.
Yesterday he woke up struggling to sleep. He took way to many shots of liquor and drank a lot of beer and by the time all was said and dome he was loaded. I put him to bed, but when he woke to go to work he was still loaded and went to work like that. Thankfully, a friend who worked with him at the previous job and works with him now, told my husband that he smelled of alcohol and that he needed to go home and the friend would tell people that my husband left due to a headache.
I’m so scared for him. If it wasn’t for said friend he would have gotten fired. I try to take the burden off of him as much as I can. I’m a stay at home mom, but I too am attending school for Computer Engineering, I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and child care. I don’t complain to him and very encouraging and try to uplift him. I even help with with his school assignments as he is struggling to maintain his GPA in school. I don’t know what else I can do. Any advice would help.
TL;DR my husband is under alot of stress and is making poor decisions. What can I do to help?
3 comments
I think you two need to have a serious discussion about whether he ca maintain his new job or whether he needs to switch back to a less stressful job. More money is very compelling, but it’s no good in the long run if it leads to alcoholism and loss of the job and him being miserable. Also, alcohol will help a person fall asleep, but it decreases sleep quality, so it will cause more problems for someone who is struggling to get enough sleep. He needs to figure out a way to hold a job and maintain his health. Either he can put up with this job for a bit longer, or he needs to accept that he needs to look for a new job. He could try again with a job like this after he’s done with school, and then would be juggling slightly fewer things at the same time. Pushing oneself to do too much can backfire.
It sounds like your husband is really struggling, and it’s important that he gets some help. Encourage him to talk to a therapist or counselor who can help him work through his stress and anxiety. It’s also important that he find healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with his emotions. You’re doing a great job supporting him, but it’s okay to recognize that you can’t do everything alone.
I don’t know if he drove himself to and from work, but if he did, he could have killed himself or others.
They are also serious safety issues because of him working while drunk. He could cause serious injury to himself or others.