We’ve been seeing each other for 3 weeks now.
He likes me, I like him. He’s a sweet guy, a little shy. He can’t help but blush every time I tell how handsome he is. He tells me how beautiful I am, how sexy I am. Etc.
This next part will be a lot of TMI, I’m truly sorry but I feel like I need to say everything.
Every time we make out, and I’m feeling him up he’s immediately hard. I’m jacking him off, and he stays hard and he tells me how amazing it feels. He’s cumming on my hand. Does the same when I give him a blowjob, or when’s feeling down my body, sucking on my tits. And he’s stays hard, he loves to touch me.
But the second we want to have sex, he all of sudden loses his erection and I’ve asked him and he starts feeling a little flustered and he tells me he doesn’t know why.
Like we’ve tried. And every time, it makes me feel like he’s not attracted to me, like maybe there’s something wrong with my body.
He tells me over and over that he does. Like I don’t get that he feels hard when we’re kissing and feeling each other up, but when it leads to trying to have sex, he deflates (weird term, sorry)
7 comments
Most likely stress on his part. Make sure he is at ease.
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Probably just nevus just make it seem like no big deal he will cum around 😉
Because he’s 36 and dicks are weird and uncontrollable and your conscious mind can be ready to rumble but your unconscious mind is full of anxiety and weird shit and the dick listens to the unconscious mind whether we like it or not. It’s 100% not you.
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Your guy losing an erection likely has nothing to do with not being attracted to you, so try your best not to take it personally as all men lose erections. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is a worse feeling to a man than being in the moment, wanting to perform and being unable.
There are many reasons why men lose erections, but asking him about it because you want to know ‘why’ is only going to exacerbate the situation and make him feel worse about himself.
Speaking for myself, whenever I lose an erection is usually has to do with my wanting to please my lover so badly that the exact opposite happens and I start to become self-conscious, which being naked with a woman is about as vulnerable as a man can be. Its not a very fun place to be.
Make him comfortable and relaxed, don’t talk about it when it happens and shift as quickly as you can into doing the things that turn him on. I wrote this in another community eight days ago and perhaps it will be helpful:
[“*Every time I’ve experienced performance issues (all men lose erections and lie about our prowess) it is largely attributed to focusing way too hard on wanting the lady to have a great time and I get anxious overthinking and self-conscious on how I’m performing. And after you lose an erection, you also fight a big uphill battle jumping back into a good rhythm again, which is all hard (pardon the pun) to do when your distracted by focusing on needing to get an erection. Made only worse if she makes a comment. And this goes around-and-around in your mind until something can break your chain of thought.*
*What works every time is when she whispers in my ear that she needs me to fuck me, then tickles me with the tip of her tongue while she is playing with my balls. That can get me hard again because I have my lover to thank for moving my mind from “I wonder what is she thinking right now?”, which is always where it seems to get stuck when this situation arises.”]*
So this is not an age thing.
This sounds more like there is a subconscious block that is happening. I specialize in libido enhancement and have run into this before.
If they are not aware of why this is happening then it is in the subconscious. I work with my clients to resolve the cause and that resolves the issue.