Tldr: girlfriend potentially cheated on me by appearing on dating apps but denying she has been on them and said she got catfished.
She also lied about her whereabouts in a complete different city to which I found out by digging for answers. Now she has asked for space for a month and will visit me in 3 weeks. Thinking of seeing her next week.
She’s been a great partner most of the relationship however I am committed to potentially giving another chance and working out our issues.
She is due to visit me in 3 weeks to discuss our situation and potentially work through our issues. We’re not on the best of talking terms and have had mini fights during this space.
I am thinking of suggesting the idea that I can go see her next week to sort out our issues but I’m having doubts of poking the bear or forcing her hand.
I know people say when people ask for space respect their boundaries. So am I being selfish by thinking of seeing her next week? I haven’t told her yet but this mini break for a month is really affecting my mental health.
4 comments
It’s understandable that you feel like you want to see her as soon as possible because you are in a limbo state where you don’t know where you two stand.
If she is willing to meet you next week, then I don’t think it’s a problem. It’s not fair for her to want space for a month if you two are in a relationship. Honestly she doesn’t sound like that great of a partner, so you should consider why you are still with her when she doesn’t care about the relationship that much and lies to you.
> she has asked for space for a month
> She is due to visit me in 3 weeks to discuss our situation
So what makes you think going to see her next week is a good idea? She’s made her position and boundaries clear; how is violating them going to help you? I would advise you to step back, honor her wishes and do some thinking of your own during these three weeks of space. A relationship without trust isn’t viable, and neither is a relationship where you view communication as “poking the bear”.
You can ask. Don’t just turn up if she says no.
But it sounds like this thing has run its course, and it might be better to break up than for one of you to take a special trip–either now or in 3 weeks–just to hash out conflict and possibly break up anyway.
why does she need space when she’s the one who cheated lol