How long did it take and how did you get over an ex of multiple years?

8 comments

1. First thing: you can still love her, while recognizing that she is longer a part of her life.

   Secondly, you have got to let go of the desire to keep her around. It’s hard, believe me, it’s not easy to do. But you have to let go of what you thought you might have. Because it’s gone.

   The future you thought the two of you would have together is no longer there. So don’t play the “what if” game. It’s a losing one. Focus on what *is*.

   You will find love one day. I promise you.

   Thirdly, and this is the most important thing: do not contact them at all. No social media, etc. For all intents and purposes she is dead to you. The more you check up, the more you dwell. The more you dwell, the worse it gets. And then you’ll never move on.

2. Easy. Stop holding on. Delete all her pictures, contact and socials. If you still keep them then dont be pissed you still cant get over her, you’re doing this to yourself.

   You forget someone by not being reminded of them.

3. I just ran my first relationship of 4 years into the ground do I didn’t want to see her again. Nothing to get over

4. You do have plenty of time to find someone. It doesn’t really matter how long it takes as long as you are taking care of what’s important to you and learning more about yourself, you will find peace with it. When my ex of 15 years and I split I poured myself into making my home nicer, inside/outside.. I also did more of the activities that I was interested in like camping, hiking, kayaking. Spent more time with my friends and FAMILY! All of this eventually brought me to a man that more aligned with my interests. He has interests of his own which excite me, he’s a musician and plays shows almost regularly. When he does, if the weather is tolerable we try to incorporate camping along with it.

5. I dated a girl we will call A for 3 years.
   From age 16 to 19.
   I was recruited at 18 and my plan was that when I finish my service I will ask her to marry me.

   Well, I found put she cheated on me and I immediately broke up with her.
   To tell you I was okay after that would be a lie.
   I was fighting depression my entire life but that was definitely a winning blow for him, every day felt worse and worse I even had suicidal thoughts. I obviously did not get the help I needed in my service.
   Everytime I went home I was getting drunk and hooked up with someone.

   I eventually got into a new relationship with a wonderful woman. And even now years after that old break up I sometimes find myself thinking about her. I don’t think you will ever forget her a first true love is something that marks you forever.

   But what helped me is the realization that the A that I loved was not the A that I was dating.
   Work on yourself my dude, do thing that you enjoy and meet new people.
   Cut ties with her and let yourself the possibility to heal. It’ll obviously take time maybe even years but in 4 years you’ll still be 28 years old.
   Wouldn’t it be great to be a 28 year old who is over her, and is the best version of you? Rather than a 28 year old that keeps seeing her everyday and returning home feeling like crap?

6. Accept that you may always have feeling for her. Don’t try to fight it. Don’t try to erase your past. Just learn to accept that this is a new chapter, going forward. If you are having trouble not getting to the new chapter, maybe you should seek some professional help. Not that there is anything wrong with you. But sometimes a guidance can make your transition a little easier to manage.

7. I am 3 months out of an almost 16-year relationship. I will always lover her and care for her. She left me. Idk if I will ever get over it. If I do, it will be a long while, most definitely.

8. You’ll find someone else eventually. Just try not to worry about it. Live your life, do your thing, the rest will come.