I 26/F has been dating this guy for over 3 years.
Most of the time the relationship has been good, we have good chemistry, we love each other etc.
He’s very reserved with his feelings not a very good communicator and very scarce with compliments for the most part.
Recently i found out he cheated on me twice with his ex.
My self esteem and self worth took a dive and it did affect me pretty badly considering ive been cheated on before.
He was remorceful and we decided to continue our relationship and work on it.
I admit during this time i became very needy and very bitter and i just needed him to help me grow and heal but he didn’t.
He quickly reverted back to his old self and he couldn’t see or understand that my neediness stems from what he put me through.
He didn’t allow me time to heal he just needed me to forget and act like it never happened.
We started having more arguments due to my need for him to step up and prove his love and loyalty for me and him falling off short of that.
Last time we fought because he didn’t want to go out with me and he ghosted me for 11 days and counting.
All my attempts to reach out to him has been futile.
How do i deal with that ?
Its destroying what’s left of my self esteem.
I really love him and i don’t want lose him.
What’s the best course of action here?
33 comments
Girl stand up! I hope he’s you ex boyfriend, he sounds like an idiot. He can’t handle the mess HE CREATED BY CHEATING. Leave him in the past, you are not his priority.
The best course of action is to let him be and move on with your life. The guy has cheated on you. TWICE. He’s not going to change, and you’re just going to continue to get hurt by him and his actions. You deserve better.
Oh love, move on…….
He deserved to be your EX boyfriend a lot earlier that 11 days ago.
you can and will do better than this bloke for sure.
Babe. What are you doing to yourself?
The man has cheated on you TWICE with his EX! There is no fixing this. He doesn’t respect you and he never will. Not to mention, he doesn’t compliment you or communicate with you.
**Block his number**
You might love him, but someone who disappears without communication doesn’t love you.
Stop calling him your BF and just call him what he is. Gone. He’s probably cheating again already.
He cheated on you twice (that you know of) and is now ghosting you to punish you.
You aren’t wrong about not having much self-esteem. Any one who had even an ounce of it would love themselves enough to walk the hell away from this guy.
He is manipulating you and he will continue to do so. End the relationship, get yourself some help to build your self-esteem and then find yourself someone better, who actually deserves your love.
Please don’t waste another minute on this AH.
sounds like the trash took itself out. block his number. you deserve better.
Sounds like he’s finished the relationship and frankly good because he is TRASH. He’s cheated on you TWICE and treated you like shit after and now is just ghosting you?! Why on earth would you let this spineless worm crawl back into your life?
No not all men are like this.
Yes there are better ones.
No you don’t deserve this shit.
No he isn’t going to change because he doesn’t give a fuck about you. Sorry. Harsh but true. Practice some selfcare here and start putting you and your needs first!
It’s a great relationship… except…. He’s a serial cheater, he’s not remorseful, he’s emotionally detached, he won’t communicate , he’s not showing affection/love…. That is not a “great relationship “- like at all!!! Get some self respect, stop letting people treat you like garbage. Block him and work on yourself
If you want your self esteem back you’ve got to leave this man in the past. Work on healing yourself.
You end it. He’s not the one for you.
You love him but he doesn’t love you, I’m sorry.
He’s cheated on you twice. That trust has been broken and can you really move beyond that? You’ve already lost him but the good news is you deserve better.
I know how you feel about self esteem especially when a partner doesn’t value your feelings or respect you as a person. I’m going through that myself.
I think to myself, if my standards are pretty low and I can’t even retain interest in my partner who is a bad communicator, doesn’t tell me he loves me and doesn’t treat me well, I must be a shitty person if I can’t even keep him.
It’ll be hard but you will get through this. Remember that you deserve better.
How many more ways can he show you that he clearly doesn’t love you?
Sounds like you don’t have a boyfriend anymore. Good riddance though. He sounds like garbage.
Stopped reading after “cheated on me twice”
Why are you even with him?
Get a decent man and throw this one out. You deserve better.
Please watch Jigsaw by Daniel Sloss on Netflix. He’s a comedian with very insightful thoughts on relationships.
you’ve been dumped
he is your ex
Dont be with someone who plays head games.
He’s immature and cheated on you. Why would you want to fix this? Break up for good.
Stop being a doormat and have some self respect. This guy does not love you, he doesn’t care about you and he is an immature cheating asshole. He had no loyalty to you, he cheated ffs!!!
Take off the blinders and see him for what he is, a douchebag that’s been using you as a hole for his dick
Just leave him already
You do know the best course of action here. So make yourself ready to actually take the best course of action, which is completely block this dude. Enlist the help of your friends. Tell them to block the guy from your phone and social media and to totally delete his contact. And then get yourself to therapy to find out why did you let him treat you like this and why do you still want a person that doesn’t care about you in the sightless. Vent to your friends too. Get angry. Write down all the reasons why you’re angry with him, so you can read them if you forget. You say that you don’t want to lose him but you absolutely HAVE to lose him. Good riddance.
He doesn’t love you.
Newsflash you don’t treat people you love like this.
If you haven’t heard from him in 11 days, consider yourself broken up
Girl, please for the love of god. Value yourself first and foremost. You do not have to be treated this way and you do not have to accept this kind of treatment. You are better than this, you are worth more than this. None of his behavior is okay or normal. It’s toxic, hateful and wrong. There are good men out there that treat women with love, respect and compassion. This isn’t one of them, this isn’t one of them on their worst days. This isn’t someone you continue a relationship with and surely isn’t someone you will want to marry. Please look after yourself and move on for your own mental health.
I was initially gonna say that clearly the argument wasn’t insignificant— but then you said he cheated twice.
Yeah naw, girl. He’s not your bf, he’s a fuckboi and you need to drop his ass before he hurts you again.
Because he will.
He got away with it twice already, why wouldn’t he do it again if he knew he could het away with it?
I stg if I see one more “my boyfriend is so nice! But, (starts listing off how their partner has ruined their life, uses them, doesn’t respect them, multiple red flags). But idk what to do :(“
You break up and move on, its clear you aren’t in any way happy in this relationship, which is what relationships are meant for. Use this time of ghosting to leave the relationship and find someone who will put forth the effort to make you happy.
I’m so sorry he’s putting you through this, you don’t deserve it and believe me, there IS better out there. I’m older and jaded and I’ve been through it with boys like this before. If I were in your shoes I’d block him now, ghost him back. Be gone before he can ever decide to come back for you. Relationships like this don’t get better and if you give him any more of your time you will wish you had ended it now. There will be someone out there who will treat you with the love, kindness and respect you deserve, please don’t hold yourself back from finding that person.
He cheated twice, refuses to take accountability and actually help you heal and is now ghosting. The relationship is over, if he comes back why do you want him back? He’s emotionally immature, and checked out. How do you know him ghosting in his mind isn’t a “break” where he gets a free pass to cheat again, because he was too immature to use his grown up words and either end the relationship or express his need for space.
Pretty sure his actions have made it clear how much he cares about you. I promise you there are better people out there who respect their partners, care about their partners and don’t cheat. Pick yourself up and stop groveling over pond scum. You can do SO much better.
I think you have been dumped.
You should assume you’re no longer in a relationship and block him and move on.
If he loved you he’d have contacted you by now.
The question is, why do you want someone like that in your life?
Imagine you have a dog and one day it steals your dinner from your table. Then when you scold it he bites your hand.
Instead of realizing this dog isn’t going to be safe and a good fit for a family you spend the next 11 days trying to rub his belly to reward him for biting you in the first place.
That’s you right now.
Delete and block your BF. Change your profile to single, go find a new BF. It’s over or needs to be.
If he comes back tell him after a week of him ignoring you that you assumed yourself single and made it so.
Girl, I hate to break it to you, but he’s definitely with her right now. Time to cut ties and send his ass on down river. You don’t need him, you can find a partner that treats you with respect and love. Do yourself a favor and block his ass, don’t let him come back when he decides to resurface.
Girl, get some self respect. I’m not sure why you’re still doing this to yourself. Leave him and learn to love yourself.