We have been together for 2 years and 9 months and we have a lot of sex. A lot. To the point where it is cutting into my sleep schedule for work or my daily chores. I work 10 hours 5 days a week. 6 days rotating weekends. So I have little time to do things after work (I’m currently looking for a day time job without the need for overtime). My boyfriend works the same job and hours but has a daughter. So after work has yelled at me he needs his sleep cause he has to get up to get his daughter. Which is fine cause I’ll do my chores and eat then it’s my bedtime. I personally think sex is 2 maybe 3 times a week. But after work he only will come over if we have sex, (ignoring his yelling at me for needing his bedtime sleep). We just had sex Thursday night and it’s Saturday night, we went out on a hot sweaty hike, I bought myself trail mix and my own lunch (he hasn’t been treating me to anything) and then came back to my place. (He lives in his van and refuse to pay me half of rent if living with me). We ate, I showered (he’s still all sweaty and stinky in pants and a cover up) and went to bed. Now he’s ignoring me all night, he did slammed my apartment door shut a little too hard when leaving, I sent “I had a lot of fun today” text and another text talking about the pct trails we both want to do. Hes upset cause it’s day two with no sex but spending the day with me doesn’t mean anything. Thinking back, I’m sure I have been manipulated into sex because he says when he doesn’t have sex everyday, it just makes him a mean person. This to me isn’t a right answer.

Edit: I went to bed after my shower but I didn’t ignore him. I came out to the kitchen table to where he was sitting and see what he was up too. I told him I need to get to sleep cause my Amazon groceries are arriving at 8 and it’s 4pm. I stay up Friday night, all Saturday to do the hike and now I’m exhausted and sore and just want to sleep.

25 comments

  1. Are you just looking for someone to agree with you and tell you to dump him? Because you know he’s an asshole.

  3. He is not a mature guy. He has a baby fit if he doesn’t have sex with you for a second day in a row? Because you’re tired and need to go to sleep? He doesn’t rub your back and tell you he loves you? He doesn’t bring you tea and toast in the morning if you don’t feel good? All of that is available to you. But not if you stay with this dick. My opinion.

  4. The dude lives in a van with his daughter and his focus is sex? Weird. Also, why can’t he afford half the rent if he’s working 50 hours a week?

  5. I don’t want to ignore the sexual coercion because I know firsthand how traumatic that can actually be. Clearly you should end it but um, he lives in a van with his kid? Am I being too alarmist to say that warrants a CPS report?

  6. Just dump him , he has literally NOTHING to offer you. What are you even trying to fix here?

    Best case he becomes a rude bum who doesn’t pay his way but demands a little less sex.

    Kick him out of your house get on a GOOD dating site and never let him back in. Anything short of an axe murderer will be an upgrade please move on.

  7. This is disturbing, he’s treating like complete crap and coercing you into sex, also refusing to help pay bills when it sounds like he lives there? This guy is a loser. You’re allowed to say no to sex without him having a temper tantrum

  8. Why exactly are you with this AH who doesn’t care about you? Except for how often you put out? Does he even try to make you O?

  10. This man sounds horrendous. Please do not give him anymore of your time. Good grief 😵‍💫

  11. “Hey I found this guy in a dumpster who wants to use me as a blow up sex doll and screams abuse at me when I don’t want to bang his sweaty, unwashed ass, what do you think of him?”

    Please be serious.

  13. He has a different libido style. This relationship will never work without compromise….Both have to compromise…Usually these kinds of relationships don’t work out…YOu have a lower libido style. If you want to be with him, you will have to sit down and agree to compromise for both. He doesn’t seem very amenable. I think it will end… Sex in a relationship is 10% of the relationship, but 90% of why it fails….

  17. When you finally leave this dope, try not to take his crap as normal into your next relationship.

  19. Too much of this is wrong. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who treats you well only when he gets what he wants. Who insists on sex on his timetable. Who makes bullshit excuses for being “mean.” Who blames you for stupid stuff (like wanting to live rent-free when he’s the one who’d really like to do that).

  21. “He lives in his van”

    I stopped paying attention to anything else after reading that. You gotta raise your standards, honey.

  22. He’s a slob. Who the hell doesn’t respect their partner enough not to shower before going to bed if you’re sweaty? And then he wanted sex? Yeah that’s a hell no on its own let alone the way he’s treating you.

    The fact is, he has no respect for you whatsoever. You are just his sex doll.

  23. uh oh lives in his van? doesn’t pay his way? hobosexual vibes

    also just generally an asshole

  24. Leave him. He’s abusive. You shouldn’t be afraid to say no. You deserve better.

    And even if there is a different in sex drive, he should still not be taking his anger out on you to coerce you into giving him sex. Denying you affection if you don’t give him sex. That’s sexual coercion. You not wanting sex isn’t denying him, that’s just you not wanting sex. You have no malicious reason behind it.

    But he is being malicious when he becomes horrible as punishment.

  25. The update worries me greatly, any one else feels this way? Despite all the red flags, she still seems to only care about giving in to his demands and pleasing him. :/

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