I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant. My husband swears black and blue that his lack of libido has nothing to do with how my body has changed during pregnancy. He’s a bit worried about finances at the moment which he says is what is bringing his mood down, and I believe him. However I also believe how my body looks has made him less attracted to me. His libido slipped as soon as I began showing, and to me that is not a coincidence.
I love this man with my entire being. He is such a good man and he has given us an amazing life. He is a wonderful person. His lack of attraction to me right now is such a blow and I don’t know how to deal with it. I feel so disconnected from him at a time where I so desperately need to feel close to him. I have tried dressing sexy, putting more effort into my appearance, suggesting we try out some kinks he has previously shown interest in… and nothing.
I don’t know how to fix this. I know our sex life can only get worse after the baby is born. Has anyone been in a similar situation that can help me find a way to make my husband find me sexy again?
7 comments
You dont have to worry. A mans attitude can change awhile because of stress or some new experience with unknown results like (become a dad), he is probably stressing out because of the responsability of the new born. In addition, he is noticing all the effirt you do to attract him and thats would make him happy and confident, all you should do is giving him time, supporting him not sexually but emotionnaly, make him feel that the responsability is yours too and he is not alone….. and in pretty sure he will released. I hope you do well both of you and your child
Talk to him about how distant you feel. Share your feelings, thoughts and fears with him. You are going to have a kid together. Being able to openly comunicate and admit vulnerability while asking for support is crucial. As a man I can tell you heavy work and money problems are far more of a turn off than pregnancy but I strongly suggest you hear that again from your husband. Sometimes repetition brings conviction.
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You say you love him, but you don’t seem to trust a word he says.. why are your feelings valid, but his aren’t?
This may sound ridiculous but is he worried he’s gonna poke the baby? Some men don’t understand that it’s physically impossible to do so and get worried about that ?
He may just need time to adjust to the HUGE responsibility of the undertaking of becoming a parent. That is literally a life changing event. It’s a big deal!
Sex might not be on his mind at all. He could be stressing out so hard but not wanting to put any of that on you, in a protective way.
Also financial stress is something that literally affects your body in many different ways. That could be a major contribution in all of this.
Perhaps just respect that he’s not into wanting to do any of that right now and give him some room just to allow that to be.
There is no set of standards either that you’re guaranteed to have a bad sex life after you have the baby, it might even improve for you guys.
Its not likely you. Many, probably most men are very attracted to there pregnant spouse. There are probably numbers out there if I wasnt too lazy to look.
When you say labido, are you referring to drive or failing to remain hard, or both?
Most likely its just stress and the prospect of having a family now with added costs and responsibilities are causing problems. Maybe ask him to see somebody to help.
If it is an ED issue, please for the love of all that is holy, try not to show disappointment and work with him on it. Performance anxiety is a real thing and will only contribute to the problem.