There are no underlying issues and our relationship is as strong as ever, but when I try to initiate sex, she says she’s either not in the mood, or on her period(which she lies about sometimes to get around having sex) I don’t understand if this means I’m just really bad in bed and she won’t tell me, but I have a moderately high sex drive and it’s getting to a point to where I feel as though I may no longer want to even have sex with her because it’s been so long. Please give some advice if you’ve been here before as the male or female, thank you friends.
20 comments
She cheating
You have to talk to her about it. There are many reasons why someone may not be interested in sex, temporarily or permanently, but we cannot possibly know what is going on in her mind. Don’t be accusatory, just say you’ve noticed you haven’t been having sex in the past few months, and you’d like to have a frank discussion about what is going on.
Decide if this is important to you. Are you willing to walk away.
Talk to her.
She might have an issue even she isn’t aware of. If she isn’t willing to work with you and you are not on the same page and see no resolution, move on.
I would try to get her to open up but frankly if you haven’t had sex in 6 months it doesn’t sound like you have much of a relationship. That’s a very long time even for senior citizens who’ve been married 50 yrs.
Went through this with a ex fiance. Always had a reason why. Turns out she was cheating. Not saying yours is. But go talk to her, tell her how you feel and what your needs are and go from there
Break up.
Dead bedrooms rarely get better. Your not married, bail.
/r/deadbedrooms if you want to read about other people going through the same thing
But it’s over. You date to see if you are compatible and you aren’t compatible.
Communication is key, Tell her that you care about her but are feeling sexually unsatisfied/fulfilled and you would like to talk about it.
May not be the easiest conversation to have and you may not like the answer but its on that needs to be had …
It sounds like there’s an underlying issue she isn’t talking to you about. The relationship might seem strong but from the sounds of it she doesn’t want to have sex for some reason. I wouldn’t immediately jump to cheating or anything but definitely I would talk to her, let her know how you’re feeling. Try not to say like “you lie and avoid sex..” more like “in the last six months it seems like sex hasn’t been even in a top five of our priorities and it’s starting to become a pretty big issue. I feel like something is going on and that is making me feel uneasy and inadequate”. Let her know what’s going to n with you and your feelings
She might be getting her D elsewhere.
I would talk to her and if she ain’t gonna work with you then bounce.
Dude that is weird! At that age not having sex? Two options for me, she is one of that asexual people or she is getting sex somewhere else
Move on… fine a woman who will drink your bath water
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel is a good book on desire in long term relationships…
Start working on yourself, hit the gym, get new hobbies and start planning from that place.
In a romantic relationship your selfishness is as valuable as your selflessness since both partners have equal importance…
Sometimes we are too selfish for our relationships to work… sometimes we aren’t selfish enough…
Good luck 🍀!
Join the club – it’s over 7 years for me!
Get an escort
With the lack of any other reason, this is just who she is. The honeymoon stage energy is gone and so is her sex drive. It doesn’t make her a bad person (although her refusal to communicate does..) but it’s not compatible with someone with a higher sex drive
Check out r/deadbedrooms for a glimpse into your future
If she’s not willing to even talk about it, there’s no hope here unfortunately
Have the same issue… Gave up initiating and now down to 2 times yearly if I am lucky… Actually cannot remember the last time lol…. We get. On great and have heaps of fun… Never fight… But no point flogging a dead horse. I too have a high drive… But ended up resigning to the fact that it is not going to get any better… So porn and Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters it is… Or the alternative is being unfaithful… So not going down thst path lol…
You straight up bring it up and don’t stop until you get an answer. The real answer may be leaving
Talk to her and see what’s bothering her
Dump her sorry ass. Life is too short to live on /r/deadbedrooms. Clearly you’re not compatible why waste time being miserable.
You deserve to be with someone who can’t wait to touch you and hold you when you’ve been apart. 6 months is an absolute age. We sometimes go one or two days but no longer. Because it’s so important to both of us to be that close.
Does she just not like sex? Does she not like sex with you?
Sounds like incompatibility that no amount of talking will solve in the long run. It happens. I’ve been in a previous relationship where I had sex because I thought I should. Because it’s part of being in a relationship. Now I have it because I want to and because I find my husband sexy as hell. And it’s the best feeling. You deserve that too.