25(M) I have never been on a date or even kissed a women. Would like to find out ways to improve my chances of getting a date.

7 comments

1. Stop putting women on a pedestal. You have to genuinely connect with them in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.

2. Do you have a group of male friends? If so, what are they like? Do they have girlfriends or girls in their circle of friends?

   I’ve never done any online dating…. it seems too weird for me. All of my relationships have come from people that I know in real life. I’ve always felt that the best way to get dates is through people that you know.

3. You’ve got the money to: get a personal trainer and become fit; get a meal delivery service or whatever to improve the healthfulness of your meals; get a therapist to discuss your socialization; get a sex worker to get over the “I’ve never been kissed I’m a virgin” situation.

   Try that.

4. It really comes down to looks unfortunately my man.

   Under 30, dating nowadays is pretty much 99% looks.

   People like to say things like personality and confidence matter, but when you actually look into behavioral studies, it turns out that perceived personality and physical appearance have a near-perfect correlation. Confidence is also something derived from positive affirming and validating experiences in your life.

   Attractive people are regularly validated and praised for being attractive. This is a fact and no one who is sane really argues this, and has been discussed as a topic by philosophers for thousands of years.

   Just do a brief reddit search of “ugly to attractive” on askreddit or other subs and look at the experiences of people that have gone from “ugly” to average or above-average.

   **ALL** of the people that have actually experienced both sides will tell that you being attractive compared to being ugly is an entire WORLD of difference. It’s a completely different life. As someone who went from attractive to unattractive due to genetic issues around the time I turned 18, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that my appearance and my appearance alone has been the sole cause of my social falling out.

   I literally used to be THE charismatic guy, and I really still am today. Like literal Hollywood actor charismatic social genius at 13 years old type personality. I can seriously look at some of the most “charming” personalities of Hollywood and put myself right next to them. The only reason my personality now fails me is because I don’t have the LOOKS to match my personality.

   Looks and personality go hand in hand. Take a short ugly guy that is overweight and losing his hair and give him the confidence of a 6’4″ D1 quarterback and he suddenly becomes a weird creep and gets the cops called on him every time he approaches a girl.

   That’s because it isn’t the personality or the confidence, but the person and looks behind the personality and confidence.

   You really can’t “fake it until you make it” because there is no cheating genetics and your appearance as a man. You can buy flashy things and have materialistic possessions, but then that’s essentially just prositution with a few extra steps, and you’ll never really be loved for who you are, only what you provide.

   Work on your appearance dude. Pour all of your effort into your looks and I can guarantee you that you will see changes. The personality and confidence naturally come from having affirming and generally positive experiences with people every day.

   Personality does matter, but only once you’re above the “fuckable” standard. If you’re remotely ugly or have anything noticeably wrong with you. You’re disqualified by 99% of women under 30.

5. Im a 22 f and have only kissed one guy one time. My advice is to just be you. Swipe on women you think are interesting or that you could be compatible with and see what happens. Just be yourself, there’s nothing about you that you have to change. Personally I hate when guys talk about how much they make or their financial status so try to avoid that when getting to know someone. Also if you start talking to someone and like talking to them ask them out to coffee and tell them about your lack of experience. I know that I would love if a guy was open about that because it would take some pressure off of me. And if she doesnt like your lack of experience then she’s not the one for you.

6. Maximize your looks bro women aren’t sexually attracted to money money does not make them WET.

7. What would make you feel attractive/confident/sexy etc?

   The answer is different for everyone. Some people feel their best when they’re physically in shape. If that’s you, then start regularly exercising and eating well. For others, it’s dressing in a certain way. So maybe a wardrobe change is needed. And for others, it’s being able to speak confidentially and hold a conversation, so a speech/public speaking class can come in handy