Question.. Has anyone regret seeing out a long lasting fantasy? Context – For over 10 years I’ve been enjoying the fantasy of my wife getting pounded by another guy. This is her favourite fantasy too. But sometimes I wonder, “Is it just a fantasy that I’d hate the reality of?”. We’ve experienced partial realities of this by her making out with a colleague she use to work with at her gym to which we LOVED it and regularly reflect on it. We want more but it’s obviously a big decision. Or is it?? Is it a big decision because the world tells us it is when it’s different for everyone. Surely it says something if the fantasy has been around for that long right?
Even as I write this I’m getting hard as fuck which makes it impossible to ever view things rationally. 😂🥵Thoughts welcome!
12 comments
I think it was Socrates who said, “Not everything that you masturbate to should be tried in real life.” I’m not saying it’s the worst idea, but proceed only after a whole hell of a lot of thinking, and open discussion with your partner. Make sure you are both an **enthusiastic** “Hell yes!”
I will never understand the want to see my girl get railed by another guy or be railed by another guy in front my guy. This is a fantasy that should stay just that. There is way more that can go wrong then the 20 minutes of happiness. You have to stop and think yes you loved when she made out with another guy, that is totally different then having a guy fuck her. If she does anything different with him then she does with you that can be devastating to a man. This could also end your relationship if you do it and it eats away at you or her. In the end it is your life and sex life and if both of you are 110% on board then, That is your choice. I wouldn’t do it but that is just me.
Well you have experimented with making out. Maybe try taking it a step further with no penetration.
Was the colleague a male or female? It may not even be relevant but my thought process is if it was a male and you’re both still gushing over it and you haven’t had insecurities arise then maybe taking it a step further wouldn’t be a big leap from there and so it won’t really be a problem for you…
My concern is once you open Pandoras box, there’s no going back. You might thoroughly enjoy the whole thing but decide that it should maybe stay as a one time thing, but what if she decides it’s not enough? Maybe you enjoy this kink but she decides to take it a step further and not involve you the next time? Or what if you fully get your rocks off and she decides it’s not really her thing after all? You end up trying to pursue more but she suddenly feels regret? Not saying it will happen, but the risks are there.
All in all my thought process is usually the same: if there’s healthy and open communication and you agree it’s worth a shot, maybe it’s worth a shot.
The way response I can give you is the answer is in the post nut clarity. I have tons of taboo fantasies. Anything I jerk off to that I immediately say “Ehhh, no, can’t do that.” Is something I know won’t work and should stay fantasy.
The old adage is be careful what you wish for – she may really enjoy it and that can lead to her having feelings for the new man. Sure, maybe it works out and you two have a wonderful sexual experience. Or, you can lose your wife. Be careful friend.
I think you guys should keep going down the path little by little and see what happens. She made out with someone and it worked out, have her go a little further and see how you guys handle it. Keep doing that until it gets uncomfortable. 🙂
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If you have a very secure relationship and you’re turned on by the idea, it can work out! My husband and I have had an open relationship for a long time and he is very secure in sharing me, as I am in sharing him. We went to a hotel this weekend for 2 nights and had a few guys come by that we have both known for a long time. The encounters were incredible, and the sex with my husband after they left was extremely intense and pleasurable. If you do it, my advice is always have sex with each other after it’s over. Although neither of us own each other, the feeling of reclaiming your partner and connecting and sharing how the moment was is always incredible. If any jealousy feelings arise, the scene probably isn’t for you.
Proceed, knowing full well that this in the long game of things could very well end your marriage.
Its a slippery slope. The first thing you have to have is a set of rules you each write up and agree to so there’s no misunderstandings from either. Clear concise communication is a must. Then you need to ensure this is nothing more than an extension of your own sexlife. The other person is merely an object serving an intended purpose for the TWO of you. Its not just about her getting to fuck another man. It’s about you each experiencing this separately while in the actual act, but together as one in the event. Don’t get to know the guy, don’t make him waffles the morning, etc.
Don’t be dissuaded by socially repressed opinions. Sexual monogamy is not the norm in the animal kingdom of which we are a part of. Pair bonding is and is very advantageous however having a variety of partners is also very beneficial. That’s the biological explanation now to us humans we generally (hopefully) aren’t pumping out offspring every season so for us sex is more for pleasure. If you and your wife have a very secure relationship with open communication and are both on board with this know that many couples enjoy this lifestyle positively. My wife and I started many years ago with role playing/fantasy about this. Was a slow and well discussed progression to actually doing it in real life. I have to say, so long as you find the right guy it was amazing for both of us. It doesn’t define our relationship but watching you wife with another man is another level of pleasure, it’s very cerebral sexuality. Communication is the key but don’t be held back by norms, its amazing if done correctly. The hardest part is finding the right guy but that’s another story.