How did you discover who you wanted to be? How old were you?

12 comments

1. I couldn’t find a therapist that actually understood what I was going though. It all felt too clinical and analytical. I finally found one that didn’t look at me with pity when I told my story. She vaguely mentioned going through something similar and I could tell that she actually understood what I was feeling. It was easier to open up and let it all out. It got me thinking, with everything I’ve been through, I might be a good therapist too. Psychology always fascinated me, and it would be really cool if I could help people. So now I’m 27 and going back to school lol

2. I really liked playing the sims only for building homes and landscaping. I also really enjoyed volunteering for things that mattered to me. I also have very liberal views. I also like building miniatures, biking, walking, and hiking, and the idea of not owning a car because it’s expensive. I went to the Administration office and was like “How to I make all of these random important things in my life my job?” And they introduced me to City Planning. I was 25 and had already tried going to school to become a teacher and a nurse. Hated both of them.

3. I did a lot of work in my 30s to figure that out. And the shocking thing is that it returned to what I wanted when I was younger, it’s just I always thought it wasn’t possible. It really took some huge life changes and coming to terms with things to realize I could do those things and that’s what I’ve always wanted to be.

   I must have been 7 or 8 when I figured out that working on video games was a job. I remember around 12 or 13 becoming aware of alt lifestyle, goths and bodymods, artistic tattoos and piercings, dyed hair. This was back in the mid-90s when people still called tattoos “everlasting job stoppers”. And I remember learning about open sexuality and kinks in my teens, and wishing I could be that kind of person that’s sexually adventurous.

   So yeah, in my 30s I actually worked on becoming those things. Now I’m 38 working at a major game studio, have several facial piercings, tattoos, doing fetish modelling, going to dungeons, and just embracing every part of me that I had always wished I could be.

4. I’m 28 and still have no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️

5. It is always evolving as I find out about and try new things!

6. Car accident changed my life at 30 years old, I’ve been feeling reborn ever since

7. My dad told me to help him make French toast. I was probably 3. I remember thinking it was so fun and it warmed my heart when I put the plates on the table and everyone smiled, thanked and praised me.

   Ever since then I wanted to be a cook

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9. Writing became my therapy when we moved to a new country. I want to be a writer. One day hopefully I will publish something good. Until then, it shall remain a beloved hobby

10. I discovered it in 2021, just before I turned 30.

    I had known something wasn’t quite “right” with how things were for a while. I realized sometime in 2018, and as the nightmare that is 2020 rolled around and I got furloughed for a few months I had a lot of time to sit and reflect. I picked up hobbies I hadn’t had time for. I looked into career-related things and industries that interested me, instead of things I had to keep up with for work. And instead of thinking, I just let myself feel for a while. I think that changed me a lot, and helped me be ready for my split-second decision.

    And now, the moment everything changed. I had been stressed from my awful job, where I was being walked on and treated like garbage (as a developer, working in a non-customer facing position, I got screamed at for not wearing enough makeup just to give you an idea). One day I woke up…and I was frozen. I tried to twist out of bed. I couldn’t. I tried to turn my head. I saw stars and was in blinding pain. I freed one arm…I could thankfully move it. Getting up was completely out of the question for me, as every time I shifted my legs I nearly threw up from the pain. It didn’t seem like a good option considering I was stuck on my back.

    I screamed my ass off until my husband finally “thought he might have heard something” (for some reason, this house has a soundproofed bedroom….we didn’t install it, I swear) and we ended up have to call an ambulance. What was wrong with me, readers? I had whiplash. Stress-related whiplash. The recommendation from the doctor? “If you can afford it, quit your job.” They ran blood tests. They found problems. All, likely, they said from stress.

    I decided in that second that I was done. No job was worth having my head stuck facing to the left for the rest of my life! Not to mention what it did to my blood pressure. I quit immediately, and decided I was going to become a designer, something I’ve wanted to be my whole life but had been constantly told I wasn’t talented enough for. I decided I was not going to be pushed around by crappy people who didn’t care about me anymore. I decided I was going to prioritize my life, and my family, and the people I cared about. I decided that I was no longer going to be ashamed to be me. That was who I wanted to be from now on.

    I’m still a work in progress, but I got the career I wanted with the flexible schedule I need to prioritize what’s important to me and to this day quitting that awful place I was at is the best decision I think I ever made.

11. I was in grade 11. There was anth 101 being offered in my highschool as an elective. I took it, was incredibly interested, and decided I wanted to become an anthropologist.

12. 4. My dad watched the news every night and I got interested. I watched the politions speak and I knew I wanted to do that.