Dating has always been hard for me and I don’t really know what makes it so hard. These last few weeks especially have been a bit rough on me mentally despite an otherwise really solid time + good stuff going on in my life. Any and all advice/thoughts/etc on the below is appreciated/welcome
\-Woman 1: I met a woman a few months ago at an event. We chatted about ourselves, our mutual hobbies, her new dog, etc. and exchanged contact info. I found out the next day when I followed up that she had a boyfriend who she had moved to my city with. We stayed in touch here and there the next couple months but about a month ago we went out together and had a good time. Starting from then on we chatted basically daily or every other day where she would always ask me how that thing I went to was or how my sports league went – just life updates. About 7-8 days ago I was telling her about a girl I’ve been on a couple dates with that isn’t going well (which I’ll write about below) and she told me about how things aren’t going well with her boyfriend, she doesn’t feel like either of them enjoy the relationship, it feels very strained, they don’t share similar values and he treats her more like a friend than a girlfriend. She wants out but can’t because of the housing situation. I was really taken aback by this and not really sure what to say but just tried to remain supportive. I definitely have a crush on her but it’s not really a situation worth getting involved with probably. We are supposed to get together when she gets back from her trip.
\-Woman 2: Was a woman I met a couple years ago when I first moved to my new city. I met a group of friends at an event and they invited me to go to an escape room with them. There I met this girl who came with a guy. She was super cute and when I found out her and the guy weren’t dating I shot my shot the next day and she agreed to go out. I messed up though, I was so excited after being single for most of COVID lockdown + a little before. I’d hit her up daily about dumb shit and it kind of gave her the ick. The date went so-so but she wasn’t being direct so I grew frustrated and asked her directly what was going on and it didn’t end well. In hindsight, I was being overly invested in someone I barely knew and after going on a lot more dates/relationships since then I understand why what I did was weird. She ended up dating that guy from the escape room but they broke up a few months ago I guess. I caught up with her yesterday and told her we should get a coffee/drink and catch up. I don’t think she is really interested but I might see what her schedule looks like tonight. The whole situation fucked me up 2 years ago and still kind of bothers me but we will see how it goes.
\-Woman 3: I met a woman back in November through a friend who at the time was just starting to see a guy. I didn’t know it at first sadly. Her and I basically hung out the entire night together and it felt like we both had similar sarcastic personalities. We talked for hours about anything and everything. I saw her again at a sports pick up group and we teased each other a bit only to find out shortly after she was seeing someone. I moved on with life but also found her on Hinge yesterday. Our mutual friend reached out and brought it up as the woman must have told her. I brought up that she must not have been interested if she told her instead of me and our mutual friend basically said “Yeah, I don’t think you are her type” stung a bit for sure.
\-Woman 4: I went on a date with a woman yesterday. We actually get along quite well and have similar nerdy hobbies. It was a solid date all around and she seems very nice but we just chatted over a coffee for a couple hours. Unfortunately, I am def less attracted to her than the 3 woman above but I am not unattracted to her. We are going to make plans for a second date.
\-Woman 5: I went out with a girl like over a month ago. We’ve been on 4 dates and had basically ZERO physical contact. She barely reaches out but always accepts dates. It’s not even like I pay for them. We’ve gone almost 50/50 on everything after the first date. She just said she moves really slow but between the zero intimacy and zero texting/initiative on her part I think I am just slowly feeling myself drift away from the whole thing.
\-Other stuff: I’ve had a few other dates but they mostly have been mutual agreements to not go out again with a few ghosts here and there. Life has been great outside of dating but the dating stuff wears on you after a bit. I just feel mostly confused as to what to do at this point. But life moves on.