Me (31F) and my fiance (31F) 11 year anniversary just passed last Wednesday. I called off work to take her to Virginia to a spa called spa world then later took her out to eat a seafood boil. I’m just really disappointed bc I’ve yet to receive anything. I asked her what she was getting me for our anniversary she claimed she was gonna cook dinner bc she couldn’t afford anything (which is bs she knew when our anniversary was she couldve easily saved up). The dinner was 3 days late and I still ended up helpping her do it as well as serve us the dinner. I don’t want to sound selfish but a dinner on our 11 year anniversary just isn’t enough for me, nor do i feel appreciated. Am I over reacting ? Am I being ungrateful?
4 comments
It’s understandable to feel hurt. It’s also understandable some people don’t make a big deal out of the occasion.
Talk to her and manage both of your expectations.
Has this been a common theme for the last 11 years?
Is this a long term financial issue?
I think the approach here would be communicating with her so that you’re on the same page about expectations for these sorts of things, so that you don’t feel slighted when you plan an expensive experience. My partner and I typically prioritize each other’s birthdays for gift giving or splurging on experiences, while for anniversaries and other holidays like Christmas, Valentine’s Day, etc. we usually chat about either not giving anything, or keeping it low key like eating a meal out. Just sounds like a lapse of communication here is all.