So we’ve been together for a long time now since December 2021, however recently I’ve noticed she’s just been really really cruel to her family members, and especially other people I mention such as friends. For example, i recently got a new friend who is very nice, for example they will check in on me every day and ask me how I am, yk all the things you would want from a friend. However I tell my gf this, and I am told “she must have a crush on you, no one would be that nice for no reason”, and she proceeded to screenshot my friends face off of social media, send it to her friend and go on a rant about how ugly she is. I honestly cannot understand this, me and this friend have NEVER crossed a boundary and I genuinely have very strict boundaries with friends while I am in a relationship (no touching unless absolute necessary etc). She has also picked up the habit of just being downright inhumane to her mum, even when I am in the room. Now I’ve told her this and she says “I can’t understand why you’re upset I didn’t even say anything bad to you, just to other people” and that has been the most I have got, even when I have said I can’t stay in the relationship long term because of this. Just before I made this post we were planning to have sex and instead she called my friend ugly basically on repeat for a hour, and then she got upset when I said I just wanted to sleep and said “yeah I get it you just don’t wanna touch me”. Now I don’t want the first and only answers to be to leave, because it’s not something I would do, I just want to know how you guys would go about explaining to her that this isn’t justified and that most people wouldn’t be comfortable with this (for some reason her friends all took her side and said I was being crazy and immature?). A lot of people I’ve asked have said I should be thankful it’s not towards me but I genuinely hate the atmosphere she creates with how horrid she is sometimes. Thanks a lot 🙂
2 comments
Of course her friends would take her side. Bad people attract bad company. You already understand her actions are not acted with well intent so let me tell you upfront: You’ve already brought it up. And she doesn’t want to change and isn’t going to. Stop defending her.
I couldn’t be in a relationship with anyone so pathologically cruel. She’s an abusive, mean person. So what if she’s not abusive *to you* – yet … How long before you do something to draw her ire? Why wait around for it? Why do you want to be with someone who treats other people horribly?