I’ve always noticed that I have no trouble initiating conversation and being social when I have a “reason” for being somewhere. For example, when I was in school I never had an issue making friends with people in class or band with me, and I always seem to make great impressions on friends of friends.
However, the prospect of joining some sort of club or doing volunteer work in the hopes of making friends is terrifying to me for some reason, and I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve tried going to bars alone with the hopes of striking up conversations and had zero luck, it’s like I don’t even know where to start. When I go to bars with friends, however, I somehow always end up getting into conversations with strangers without even trying, even if my friends aren’t around me at the time. I have no idea why the context in which I’m at the bar changing my social abilities so much, or how to remedy that.
Does anyone else experience this? And if so how have you grappled with it?
2 comments
bro, how the hell do you make friends in places you have a reason to be? Really, how? What magic do you use? What topics do you use? Of which not?

If you’re doing volunteer work, you should not be doing it just to meet people you should be doing it because you want to contribute and help