How do you believe your approach to romantic relationships has changed as you have matured and gained more life experience?

17 comments

1. I used to approach relationships in a way where I thought how does it serve my needs? How does this person meet these requirements that will make my life better? I think that was the wrong approach and I think as I get older I’ve changed my perspective.

   I now think, how can I meet my wife’s needs? How can we accomplish our needs together? Will this person Help Me Grow? Can we grow together?

2. I used to chase them, long for them, want them.

   Now, I realized that the only value-add I ever got from them was regular sex. And I can do without sex. So, now I don’t chase them, and enjoy my money and freedom.

3. [deleted]

4. I used to seek them but not anymore as soon as I realized I’m way often happier single than committed.

5. My relationships have gotten so much better, the more as equals we treat each other. Instead of wanting control, constant time and attention, and exhibiting jealousy, I’ve gotten HAPPIER when I support my partner’s external life beyond myself. Seeing her life become bigger rather than constrained to me has opened up a sense of joy for both of us, and encouraging her to develop her friendships and personal activities has made us happier, calmer, and less prone to conflict.

   Contrary to a lot of macho thinking, supporting your partner’s autonomy, friendships, and interests beyond the relationship itself actually reduces the chance of losing that partner, versus controlling her (where are you going? Who are you with? What are you wearing? Why didn’t you check in with me immediately? Why was your phone off? Are you cheating on me? Why is that guy looking at you? GROSS!) When she feels fulfilled, free, safe, and made happy from multiple resources in her life, her participation in our relationship becomes so much healthier and secure. Men need to realize that we can strengthen our relationship by opening ourselves to the realization that equality is positive, rather than tightening our fists around the relationship in a fearful attempt at control.

6. When I was younger, I’ll look for girls with big tits who talk a lot and nowadays I look for girls with big tits and different ethnic groups and don’t talk a lot

7. It’s not about the hot, kinky, crazy kind of love. It’s the kind of comfortable love that lets you leave the bathroom door open when you do your business, it’s the kind of comfortable love where they always know where you left your keys, it’s that kind of comfortable love that I find is worth more to me than anything else as I grow older.

8. When I was 23 I looked forward to it finally happening one day.

   When I was 28 I realized it may never happen and it made me hate myself and the world around me.

   Now I’m 33, I’m reasonably sure it won’t happen and I think I’ve come to a degree of peace about it.

9. Sex last much longer and I always want my date to have many orgasms, and then after we are both completely wore out, just holding on to each other then try to go again. I have noticed as I get older as I man I am able to cum twice. Never was able to do that as a pup.

10. I gave up.

11. I realized women only have sex to offer, everything else they pretend to offer is easier and better to get elsewhere

12. Yes. Most people change as they age. That’s kind of an important part of life.

    When I was younger I delt with more crap because I had different priorities. Now, I’ve realized that’s stupid and know what I will deal with / tolerate, and what I’m willing to give.

13. I avoid them, generally.

14. I realized I don’t need them as much as I thought, nowadays I’ve about accepted that I will be alone.

15. I ask anything that’s a deal breaker within the first month. I don’t have time to pussy foot around and waste our time.

16. same approach called “i’m just gonna stay in the corner alone and mind my own business. if someone has standards low enough to like me, then they have to make the first move, coz i’ll never do it”

17. Yes.