Can’t sleep so I need to type this out somewhere. I (f22) have dated a couple guys before (m23) but he was my first and only love. We worked together for a year and a half prior, fell in love, and dated for 7 months. Things were wonderful up until the last month. He was struggling with his anxiety about where his life is headed and I feel like it ultimately self sabotaged our relationship. We started having petty little fights that escalated more than they should’ve and I couldn’t quite seem to reassure him of my love. On the morning of my birthday he picked a fight, canceled prior plans to celebrate my bday together, and ended it within 30 minutes of me waking up. Over text. No call (he refused to pick up). The whole thing felt aggressive and quick—no goodbye or any type of closure. I was already blocked/unfollowed on everything after an hour. Wtf. Sad and shocked is an understatement, because he was incredibly sweet and caring for the 2 years I’ve known him. I just don’t know how to deal with never being able to say goodbye or understand what the hell was going through his mind.
tldr: being broken up with the morning of my bday over text
6 comments
Do you really want to be with someone who treats you so badly?
Yeah that really sucks. I feel for you.
Unfortunately, this is what immature dudes do. A solid, rational person will at the very least give you the courtesy of speaking face to face or on the phone. The fact he just bounced and went no contact tells you all you need to know about what kind of person he is…right now. People change a lot over time, and its not always in a good way.
I have a feeling he’s going to come crawling back, and apologize. It almost sounds like he is considering being with somebody else so he ended this one asap. Who knows, its just a shitty situation and its not fair to you. But it is what it is, people suck sometimes.
Not sure if this makes you feel any better, but this exact scenario happened to me. I was hurt as f, but I moved on eventually and look back at that experience as hilarious.
He is super depressed and taking it out on you along with sinking is own ship, pushing love away. One day he is going to regret this and whether he ever apologizes, just have pity on this guy and know you didn’t do anything to deserve this. One day you’re going to click immediately with someone that becomes apart of your world, and you two will fall in love like never before, trust me. And you’ll look back on this guy and think, “I’m glad he didn’t hang on to me and cause more problems in my life.” It may sound cruel now, but really trust what’s happening as your heart heals with time.
That’s awful. Dude could have done it way before your birthday. Be thankful the trash took itself out. It’s not going to be your only love either. You’re still young. I didn’t find the right guy until 35 (I also was very picky). Go out and enjoy your birthday. Treat yourself to something nice
If it’s any reconciliation, similar things have happened to me a couple of times with situationships and dating. I have a tendency to attract immature guys into my sphere for whatever reason (probably need to look at why that is in therapy) so I’ve dealt with guys who have mental or emotional issues and got pushed away, blocked, etc. out of nowhere as well. It’s extremely hurtful in the moment because it makes you feel totally worthless and dehumanised. But if that’s the kind of childish thing they do, then it’s their loss and not yours.
Find a real, more well-adjusted man who can treat you with respect 🙂
This kind of end is common. Un resolved issues grow until the pressure of some external event triggers an abrupt failure. EG Couple having troubles until one of them realizes the upcoming vacation would be miserable so they bail the day before.