I (20 F) have been dating (21 M) for 2 years. We’ve had many ups and down through out our relationship but this one has me stuck. About a week ago I told him things needed to change. We weren’t spending time together, short replies, and excuses. I only see him on the weekends due to school and work. Last night Z went to celebrate a coworkers birthday and got extremely drunk. He then called me and told me he was going home. After checking his location I found he was at his ex girlfriends house. I went and confronted them. Today he told me it was just to talk because he needed someone to talk to and her story was the same. But I still consider this a huge breach of trust and cover line cheating. ( We’ve had issues with this ex in the past). Many of my friends and family are telling me to leave him but I really want to give it one more chance. I’ve given him many chances so everyone believes he won’t change but when talking with him today he cried and apologized. He told me the different ways he was going to change such as open communication, more affection, and spending more quality time together. My birthday is this weekend and we had plans but now everyone is saying I’m crazy to go over there and celebrate with him even though I want to. I told him i needed time and that I wouldn’t be putting in as much effort until i saw consistent change but my family and friends are very upset with me. So what should I do in this situation?
2 comments
You are crazy going over to spend time for your birthday with someone who should honestly be your ex.
– He lies to you freely. He doesn’t care that he lies to you. He is okay with it.
– even if he isn’t sleeping with said ex, he relies on her Emotionally. Not you… Idk what he is going through, but he should be relying on you not an ex.
– You stalk his location because you can’t trust him. You can’t have a positive relationship with someone you can’t trust something simple as him saying, “I’m heading home.”
– he’s wasted all the chances you’ve given him, and doesn’t change. When someone doesn’t change you cut your losses.
Ephron astutely warned: “Beware of men who cry. It’s true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with are their own.”
He cried. So what? Every single person who cares about you is telling you to leave him. So leave him. Yes. Breaking up is hard. You’ll get over it.
Stop being his doormat.