like specific things they did or watched, not just “good”

34 comments

  3. Maybe by asking more directed questions? For example:

    “Anything interesting happened today?”

    “Working on anything interesting?”

    “Busy day?”

    “Any good movies you’ve got to watch?”

    …

    Basically avoid using “How was…?” to not get the generic “good” reply.

  5. What was the most interesting thing that you heard today? (Saw, felt, smelled)

    Did anything happen that was outside the routine today?

    Is there anything you learned about today that you want to experience some time?

  6. If they wanted to tell you they would. Not everyone likes talking about the details of their day. Maybe their day was a bummer and they’d rather not think about it. Or maybe nothing interesting happened so they can’t think of anything worthwhile to say. If there’s something specific you want to know about, you can ask about that ‘any updates on that issue you’ve been dealing with at work?’ ‘Whatever happened with that situation with so and so’ etc…but you should also respect that some people are more private and don’t necessarily feel like opening up, in which case, I would change the topic to something else.

  7. I say to close friends, usually on FaceTime.
    what did you do today and then ask for details as they go
    Ex
    Me: wyd today start from the beginning
    Them: well I woke up-
    Me: what time you wake up
    Them: blah blah and then ate breakfast-
    Me: what you eat
    Them: I had blah blah
    Me: was it good
    Them: yess blah blush blah so then then went i to blah blah-
    Me: was it fun
    Them: yeah blah blah blah”
    That works for me. I just keep going if I feel they aren’t annoyed by it.

  8. When I’m checking in with someone about their day, I’ll often ask for specific examples. I’ll ask, “what’s one __________ thing you did today?” Or you could ask for a general appraisal, then follow up with the same: “what’s one thing that’s made today a ‘good day’?”

  9. Honestly me and my boyfriend just tell each other “tell me about your day and what you did”
    And a lot of these comments say similar things and it’s all about the question you ask. The question should be open ended and of course once they answer you can begin to dive in. For example if my boyfriend said he watched a movie on Netflix I’ll ask what it was about and he thought of it.

  12. It seems you have answered your own question in your post. Why don’t you phrase your post as a question and ask them that ?

  17. You are assuming everyone is willing to tell you “specific details of their day”.

    Ahem

    I hope you are not asking that kind of information out from perfect strangers.

    Talking about me, Im having real shitty days at the moment. A good approach for making me talk would be to ask me “how was your day ?” But i would more likely tell you ” it was awful but I dont want to talk about it”.

    So the only way to avoid a rebuff, would be to ask me “what would you like to talk about, then” but even though, I’m not sure Id find an idea id be spontaneously willing to talk about.

    I think the best way to carry on (assuming youd like to talking with someone in a bad mood after a shitty day) would be to tell me about your day, and wait for me to show some interest in some anecdote of yours, and then make me talk about it…

    Hope it helps

    A grumpy old lady

  18. Not everyone is into that sort of topics, and not everyone can legally talk about the interesting aspects of their workday.

  19. Dont ask yes and nor answerable questions.

    Just keep digging. Active listening, smiling, nodding, engaging.

    “Wow thats interesting how did that happen?”

    “I would struggle with that! What did you do?”

    EYE CONTACT!!!

    done

  21. Just my experience but if someone replies with just ‘good’ and nothing else, it’s probably because they don’t actually want to talk about their day

  22. There’s this thing called question. It’s really handy for your use case. You have to prepend the sentence with when, who, what, why or similar words, and then follow with the thing you want to know. Then it’s like the other person has to complete what you said with the details.

    Give it a try and let us know how it works

  23. Shift your questioning. Instead of watch anything good lately? It should be what are you currently watching? Or what is the top show you’ve seen lately?

  26. If you’re gonna ask a question, it helps to have a response prepared. So if you ask what they’ve been watching, you can follow up with what you’ve been watching.

  27. Ask them “Tell me sth exciting that happened yesterday” or sth along the lines. That would give you more information.

  28. Talk about what you’ve done today. What movies you’ve watched recently.

    Show that you’re contributing to the conversation. But also accept that they might not want to contribute.

    ETA: “Have you seen…” Or “what do you think about (topic)” are also good ways to encourage people to contribute.

  29. Sometimes, it’s hard to know who wants real details or just the highlights.

    We took a trip this weekend. When we came back, I posted pics on Facebook.

    One friend reached out and asked if we went anywhere that had crab claws on the menu. I told her the names of the places we had dinner. She later sent me a pic of the menu of the one that had crab claws.

    Another friend I saw last night asked me to see all of my pics. He wanted to see even the ones I didn’t post. He literally looked at every one and asked questions about the weird ones.

    Another friend asked what we did each day, I detailed the places we went and where we ate and who we saw. This person had already seen the pics and was interested in who all the people were.

    My sister just wanted to know if we had a good time and I thanked her something she did for me while I was gone.

    Another friend who went with us before wanted to know if the pool was any warmer this year and if the rooms were still nice.

    I detail these conversations because all of these people showed deep interest. Share more with those that ask for more or display a higher interest.

    Develop a story for those you want to get to ask more questions.

    For example. We went to Pensacola, Florida for a British Car show. We go there every year, if we can. It’s fun to see all the people that belong to that club and all the people we know from other clubs that go. We like to try at least one new place while we are there, and enjoy some of the places that we’ve been before. The local club puts on such a great event, and we always have a blast at the beans and rice social.

    I get incredible mileage out of that story and have been telling a version of it for years.

    Do this with your weekends. Take a picture of something you see. Post it to social media. It could be a plant, animal, scenery, an emblem on a car, a place you went. Anything. People are curious and will ask questions. Display something you are proud of, even if it’s just an old pic of a good hair day. Give people opportunities to ask questions!

  30. When they say “good” or “bad” follow up accordingly.

    “Good.”

    “Oh that’s great! What did you do today?”

    Or

    “Bad.”

    “Oh I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it? What happened?”

    And just keep going like that. Also if you’re thought of something about yourself you’d like to say when they bring something up that relates to the conversation, try and tie it into what they’re saying and make it about them in the end. Nobody wants to bring something up only to have the other person talk about themselves the end. This is very important.

    This might be the MOST important part of all to keep the conversation fun and engaging for them, and yourself as well.

  31. Ask specific questions, simply. Ex. ”What was the highlight of your day?” Then follow up with something like “What makes that the highlight of your day?” Something like that. But you just have to be interesting, don’t just ask questions to ask questions, because then you look like you have no substance to you, ask what they like to do and why. What makes them interested in that particular area? How would you answer the questions that you asked?

  32. “In a scale from 1 to 10, how was your day?”

    Regardless of the answer, if not 10, I ask

    “Why not 10?”

    usually works pretty well!

  33. I just ask “what had you been up to today?” And then follow up with “What was that like?”

  34. like a wise comedian onece said, “YOU gotta DIG!!”. when they answer with “good” say “nah like what happened throughout your day?”, “what did you DO?”

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