He said I’m overreacting

Disclaimer: I am not the most tidy, most clean or most organized person. My room is in a poor state most days. I do however, keep the general living areas and kids play room clean. I mop the house 2-3 times a week, do dishes daily, sweep 3 times a days. Sometimes there are piles around like the entry way or coat closet and ALWAYS there are stacks of clean laundry and dirty laundry. Rarely do I fold the laundry. I will sort into piles or draws.

So today my husband was deep cleaning his work truck after a year of build up. He took the cup holders out and brought them into the house to clean. It annoyed me he immediately went for the sink in the kitchen WHILE I was cooking. I politely redirected him to the basement laundry room Utility sink. That was around 2pm. At about 8pm tonight I went down to the laundry room to soak the mop heads in order to wash them tomorrow. I looked into the sink and layers of grime and loose change covered the sink. I was irate. Today I happened to be straightening up for what felt like aaaaalllllll day. I was feeling good to finally be almost done and sit to watch a show and have a drink for the weekend. Seeing that mess in the sink really pissed me off.

What I did next was take a deep
breath and plan what to say to my husband. I felt bad because I had just finished getting on his case about throwing away shipping wrapping from a package he received. So I went and sat next to him and said in a super slow and calm voice, “I feel like I have been nagging you a lot recently, and I feel bad about that, but what I am about to say I don’t think is nagging. I use the laundry room sink every day to clean things, soak things, take care of stains. I think it is completely unfair for you to go down and use the sink then leave it in the state it is in and not clean up after yourself.”
He sorta hushed me and said he agrees but I am overreacting.

Now time for some back story. In the past if my husband and I would get into an argument 9 times out of 10 the topic would be me not keeping the house in a clean state. We used to live in a tiny 800 sq ft home and it just felt impossible to keep clean with the amount of stuff we had for us and our kids. Also was dealing with a new medical diagnosis which lead to a couple surgeries. Then we moved to a house more than double the size and I got significantly better at keeping it tidy. That home however was not in the town nor school district either one of us wanted to be in. We found the perfect newly remodeled home within walking distance of our kids school(saving us a 30 min drive). My husband made me promise I would cook more and keep the home clean and he would do anything to get the house. I agreed and threw in a year of unlimited BJs for good measure. So four months and thirty two BJs later we are still here.

Back to the overreacting- I asked him if he would rather me not care at all and just let things get out of hand again. He then referenced my room. I replied that it was my room (we each have our own room and sleep separately) and I put my focus on common areas and spaces that affect our kids. At that point I made my drink and went to basement. 10 minutes later he came down to clean the sink. He said I overreacted because I could have waited until everyone went to bed to talk to him. His biggest concern and reason for hushing was his visiting niece who was in the kitchen and could definitely not hear or understand us with her limited English. And like I said I sat next to him and was talking in a low and calm voice.

Did I do anything wrong? Could I have approached things better? My problem now is that I’m hyper focused on proving to him I was not overreacting, but I think I should just let it all go.