I’m (25 F). I hooked up with someone a few times. He’s (25 M). He’s in the Air Force & leaves for deployment Monday. After seeing him last night, he told me after hooking up that I had a lot of red flags because of my mental health issues (bpd & bipolar).
We had discussed this through text a couple days prior, & I explained to him how my brain works with mental illness. I messaged him this morning & told him that if he just wanted to hook up, he could’ve been honest, but our conversations were very misleading.
Am I just unworthy of love because I’m mentally ill? I am medicated, self aware, & in therapy. I don’t understand.
13 comments
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I’d let him go. Find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
He used you. I’m sorry but he did. He saw an opportunity to take advantage and he did.
Nothing I can say undo what the guy has done but I can tell you that you did nothing wrong.
But I can tell you this much, you are worthy of love, just not from asshole like that.
I have friend who’s struggled with bpd and is bipolar himself and he found love and is married just like many others. You’re aware, medicated and in therapy so you’ve done everything you need to. You just need to learn from this and not be so willing to hook up in the future.
Whilst it may not help you (and it might be something you do anyway) I would suggest a lot of exercise. I say that because again, when my friend took up running, it seriously helped his mental health. Not gonna solve the problem but on top of medication and therapy every little things helps.
He’s incapable of empathy. You are worthy of love.
I remember having the following rammed down my throat during my last breakup:
‘No one owes you a relationship. They can break up with you at any time, for any reason.’
My last ex told me she loved right up to the time she fed me poison, so she could disappear with her affair partner. Three + years of relationship with me raising her daughter and I didn’t even get closure. I got poisoned. No, I was not abusive or controlling or anything like that – I treated her how I would treat my wife.
You have a problem and you have to care for yourself and others. I wish you luck because it is hard. Only you know what you are dealing with, but at least you are dealing with it. Sometimes it is not enough and that is fine. Not awesome, but fine. Just take your time and really, these days no one trusts anyone so just stay safe.
No he was just a jerk.
Mental illness is hard for some people to understand if they haven’t been through it themselves. My husband is very understanding about mine! The right guy is out there it just wasn’t this guy!
This was just not your guy. He used you for sure then just made up an excuse to discard you. You are worthy of far more! Your illnesses do not make you unworthy whatsoever. I was diagnosed with BPD, too, and it’s a tough road, but the right person is out there for you.
He used you like women use men for money. Learn from it and move on
If he’s being deployed, what were u expecting to happen?
if you been involved with someone with mental health issues you kinda know where it goes, there not all disasters but there likely to have a lot more challengers than most people think.
Sorry for you, he might have been into you, he may also had experience in this so dont beat yourself up about it.
Don’t ever think your not worthy. As you know bipolar is treatable. As soon as I started practicing self compassion I found love and yes i am bipolar.
He used you. Tell him to eat you.