TL:DR; I think my girlfriend is too good for me, im unsure that i love her, and i dont know if my breakup was the right thing to do
My girlfriend f19 and me m19 have been together for 9 months, she’s very pretty, intelligent, fun and so on. Throughout our relationship we’ve always been fair and respectfull towards eachother, our discussions have always been solved and we have in general always had a very healthy relationship.
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My problem is that im very little in touch with my feelings, i dont show my feelings alot and that has been a problem. But this friday i went out to drink in the city with my friends without her since she was on vacation. We’ve always allowed eachother to go out to clubs because we trust eachother so much.
I hate cheating and i wouldn’t cheat ever, however my issue is i think about it, and i dont think its normal. I know within myself i would never 100% act upon the thought. But i still feel like its an issue that i think about it.
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So i texted my girlfriend with lots confusion that i didn’t know if i loved her because of these texts. I should note, that i have never been in love before, and i never had a good relationship with my dad. So the only person i’ve really ever “felt” that i loved was my mom, but that ofcourse is a different kind of love.
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But i texted her and then we talked on the phone, she was very very upset and cried alot, and i really didn’t want to break up, but i thought that it would be what was best for her because i don’t feel i deserve her love, when i can’t give it back equally.
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After we broke up we talked further and she said the she would’ve looked past my thoughts on not being sure that i loved her, and work past it so everything would be good again. So i told her i regretted that i broke up.
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Now i dont know what to do, i feel like an asshole, but i dont know if i am. Im very sad and cried because we broke up, does that mean that i love her afterall?
2 comments
A bit late to wonder about that isn’t it?
>I hate cheating and i wouldn’t cheat ever, however my issue is i think about it, and i dont think its normal. I know within myself i would never 100% act upon the thought. But i still feel like its an issue that i think about it.
being attracted to someone doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t mean there is a problem in your relationship. attraction is not something you can control. what you do when you feel attractin to someone else is not indulge any type of thinking about that person, and ofc not have any interaction with them (unless you must ofc).