Giving my ex another chance and need advice – he thinks I’m being inappropriate.

TLDR: I (42f) contacted my ex Jay (44m) back in December when I found out I had breast cancer to help me with some alternative medicines. I had started seeing B (49m) in October. Jay asked me for a second chance so I broke it off with B – but made it clear to Jay that I would continue to maintain a friendship with B. Jay now claims it’s inappropriate for me to be friends with B.

So, I found out on December 1, 2022 after my first mammo that I have breast cancer. Sucks. I contacted my ex, Jay, who had helped me with alternative medicines when my mom had pancreatic cancer (Rick Simpson oil, medicinal mushroom tinctures) and asked if he would mind making me medicine – I would happily pay him for it. He very graciously did and we tried to repair our friendship (the very end of our relationship was toxic and abusive and coincided with my moms death and him reliving a traumatic experience from his past).

I had started dating B in October and when I found out I had cancer we had only gone on two dates and I gave him the biggest out. Not only did he not want out, but was unbelievably kind and understanding throughout this whole ordeal (I’ve been experiencing the fresh hell that is chemo and menopause as my cancer is estrogen positive).

Jay asked me for another chance at the beginning of April, signed us up for couples therapy, told me he cannot imagine his life without me, etc and I decided to give it a go. I made it clear during this conversation that I value B as a friend and would want to maintain that friendship going forward and he assured me that was ok.

I spoke with B and explained the situation and while he wasn’t necessarily happy, he said he understood, still really liked me and hoped we could be friends.

Here’s the problem: B and I have tickets to go to two concerts this summer. Jay knows this and has been hounding me – numerous hours long convos about this – about how inappropriate he thinks it is for me to continue to text B – we talk about music and food – and is adamant about me not going to these concerts with B. He hounded me so much last night I said screw it and just gave B tickets to the concert in June and I won’t go. I’m kind of pissed because I’m fighting for my life right now and I really wanted to go to that show and have fun and dance but the fighting is stressing me out. We have tickets for another show in May. I bought these tickets a while ago and B and I are going with his female best friend. Jay is insisting either I go with him or he tags along with us.

Seems like a good compromise, right? But Jay has said things like – yeah, I want him to see me grab your ass and plant one on you – maybe he’ll get the hint (my response to that was I’m not his property he gets to claim in some pissing match in some toxic masculinity game). He also says really mean things about B and I don’t want the stress of having to deal with that. I just want to have fun and dance.

Reddit world – give me your advice because I’m stressed and had chemo today and I’m not feeling good.