A woman that i work with just have no respect for my personal space, everytime she talks to me she touch one of my arms or my back and is really starting to piss me off.
I want to make my fellings clear to her, how do it without creating a hostile work environment?

5 comments

  2. In the absence of other context to this, just calmly and politely say “Listen, nothing against you, but I don’t like it when people touch me. Could you please stop?” If she keeps doing it, IMO you have reason to be less polite about it (not rude per se, but curt – “Stop touching me. I have already told you to stop. If you keep doing this I’m going to have to escalate” [if you want, can add “and I don’t want to have it come to that”]. Then if it continues, bring it up to your boss or HR).

    I’m assuming a particular type here – there are some people (usually women) who touch others when communicating with them as a matter of course. There isn’t really much else behind it, it’s just a habit they have. Most of the time if you tell those people to stop, they will. EDIT: The most self-aware of this type will tell you they are this kind of person in advance, check if you’re ok with that first, and at least try to rein themselves in if you say you’re not. Doesn’t sound like the case here, but IMO that self-awareness usually comes from getting their hand slapped at some point.

    But I also agree with the other poster – if she JUST does it with you, it’s worth asking why [on top of the above at the early stages]. But the situation I’m imagining is the usual does-it-with-everybody person.

    Source: Had a couple female bosses and a coworker in my lifetime who would do this (one of which was the self-aware type). I personally didn’t mind, but did see people who did – when told to stop, they backed off, and everything was cool afterwards.

  4. Either tell her directly, or else mention you have a fungus you’re trying to clear up.

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