I (f20) am not sure how I feel about my gf’s (f20) actions

My gf (f20) and I (f20) have been together for almost 7 years. We met in our second year of junior high and have been together since then. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs, but we got through them. She has always been super kind and gentle with me. Not really the most expressive, but I know that she loves me. I truly do. I love her so much too. I care about her so much and I do my best to show it with my words and deeds.

Last night, she went out to grab a drink with a few friends. I slept early that night, and in the morning, I found that she could not be reached. A few hours later, she messaged saying that she lost her phone in the cab. She could not recall much of what happened that night, but she said her friends helped her get home. I think I should also mention that as far as I know, my girlfriend does not drink often. She has high tolerance, but she usually goes on a night out like this (it was pretty chill actually) probably once every two to three months. But, every time she does go, something always happens.

Last time (3 months ago), I had to pick her up at 3 in the morning. Prior to that event, she told me she’d let me know about her whereabouts and that she’d message me if she’d be home later than 2 am. No texts whatsoever and as I was about to get worried, I received a call from her friend saying that my gf has been asking for me to pick her up because she had an asthma attack due to the poor ventilation at the bar. I immediately dropped everything that I was doing and got to the bar, picked her up, and took her home all in less than 15 minutes. I also helped her through the aftermath that morning (she was in the process of moving to another place at that time). I would do that for her over again if I should.

Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel unsafe and uncomfortable with how my gf is being irresponsible. My principle has always been not to drink more than what you can handle. I feel uncomfortable with the fact that she drinks and lets it reach a point where her friends have to bring her home (I was in a different place at that time). I’m glad she had friends who got her back but it shouldn’t have reached that point to begin with, especially not on a school night. I guess drinking is also generally a trigger for me because my father was an alcoholic and he never really came through our plans all because he was always drinking, other than that, my father is a good man. He’s better now. He’s living a healthy lifestyle. My gf and I have also talked about my triggers on that and she has been respectful about it, she understands that I’d really appreciate updates whenever she does go out to drink (or go out in general), and I also do my part by managing my triggers. I try to support her in her activities.

I know my gf is a good person. She’s the sweetest, kindest, most gentle person ever. But her irresponsibility makes me feel unsafe like I have to be on guard at all times. I could let my guard down with her emotionally, but I feel like I have to be on guard with everything else. With planning, foreseeing possible risks on a certain thing or situation, organizing, and stuff like that. She’s generally messy and that makes me feel unsafe too. But, I’ve learned to try to understand that it shouldn’t be too much of a dealbreaker because whenever I do tell her nicely, she usually follows through. But the fact that I have to constantly remind her… I understand that we’re both relatively young and we’re still trying to figure ourselves out. Right now, I’m having a hard time processing how I feel and my initial response is to isolate myself and put some distance between me and my gf. I’m usually confrontational when the other person initiates (sometimes I initiate the confrontation myself) but I feel like it will not turn out great since I haven’t really processed how I feel. I just want to isolate myself, I don’t know how to process how unsafe I feel. I know it shouldn’t feel like a big deal because I know my girlfriend’s not an addict or anything. I don’t know where this feeling is coming from. To be honest, I’m not sure I understand how I feel. Thoughts?

Thank you so much in advance.

tl;dr my gf’s irresponsibility makes me feel unsafe and I don’t know how to process it.