Am I in an abusive relationship?
Am I in an abusive relationship?
There is this guy(23m) I (21f) have been seeing for 3 months. At first there was no physical attraction towards him from my part. He kept going for me, acted so nice, kind and considerate. After the first 1.5 months of our friendship I accepted to try it out just because how he makes me feel and I spend a good time with him.
But now in this 1.5 months I have been seeing some patterns in his behaviour. He is overly negative, pessimistic, judging my behaviours and gets angry too fast usually to other people and sometimes towards me. He argues and our arguments take up 2 hours a day 2-3 times a week. He is still kind but I started to not enjoy his company anymore. I also not feel good without him right now. Should I give it some time or is time up? Am I missing other opportunities ?
I know that I am not in love, he hasn’t even give me butterflies at first and now he is affecting me by being pessimistic about future and getting angry at people around us for no reason.
I know that I am not in love, he hasn’t even give me butterflies at first and now he is affecting me by being pessimistic about future and getting angry at people around us for no reason.
I don’t know what I should do, this is my first relationship.
4 comments
He is still kind…??
Pessimistic
Argues 2 hrs 2-3 times per week
Gets angry too fast
Overly negative
I would not call any of the behaviors you listed still kind. Or kind in any way—Unless he is very good at apologizing and taking responsibility for hurting you and not repeating those behaviors.
Please don’t doubt yourself. You understand inside yourself this is not how you would treat someone nor is it how you want to be treated. And that should be enough for you to understand he is not a good fit.
That is why waiting to be physical with someone helps you understand and see more of who they are before you make a choice to go to that next level. Maybe you can see now, I believe from what you’ve written, that he is not a good fit for you.
Just run away. You will find a better fit.
I don’t know if it’s abusive. I do know you are ready to break up with him. So do it. Regardless of how you characterize why, you are over him.
Not enough info for me to be sure that it’s abusive, but it’s definitely not healthy for either of you. A relationship should be something that makes you happier, someone you love so much that you want to commit to them even through some tough times. It’s clear that this relationship is nothing like that, and is instead taking a toll on you. If you feel like your life would be happier, and less stressful if you broke up with him, then do it.