I’m really good at making small talk but I can’t seem to do the kinds of things that make you lifelong friends or lead to hook ups at parties. I can talk for ages about someone’s job, but if you wanted me to turn that into a real engaging conversation and not talk about menial things, I couldn’t do that. How do you do it?
4 comments
A simple change in that question shifts the tone of the convo. Try “what do you do for fun?”
Get them to talk about their hobbies. People love to talk about themselves. Then just be generally interested. People will definitely respond well when you’re paying attention waiting for the next bit of information.
Change from factual to emotional.
Ask questions about the highlight/lowlights of their week, ask about a place they’ve always wanted to visit, ask about some of their dreams and aspirations, ask about what their dream home would look like, ask what the lit favorite meal has been recently.
Also don’t wait for them to stop talking so you can say something. Always listen fully and intentionally.
Emotions build the connections and those connections build relationships. It takes practice but when you genuinely listen to people about how they see the world, the sky’s the limit.
Good luck I hope this helps
you just defend them from a street fight or you fight together
Works for men 100%.