I’m 27 f. Had my first relationship when I was 19 for a short while. The other guys I met when I was younger were all immature/players etc. Been going on dates since I was 21-25. Had my first long-term serious relationship when I was 22, we had been together for 4 years, it was long distance, had two breakups in between, ended the relationship when I was 26. I came across different guys since I was early 20s to mid 20s when I was not with my ex-bf. None of them met what I’m looking for, I’m not particularly having very high standard, but I’m disappointed that even basic things some guys can’t even do that. I stopped talking to them when they were being too pushy, acting entitled, disrespectful, wanting one thing that early, lied, communicated poorly, that turned me off immediately. How do I date at this point I feel like i will never find the right person, despite I still have a little hope, but many people have partners these days and im here just me
27 comments
Maybe do some self reflection on what you really want out of a relationship.
Look into why these men are initially attractive to you.
Obviously, something with your “men radar” is off. Although this is common with women.
A lot of women chase men with an appearance of confidence… when that confidence either comes from stupidity and arrogance or a player’s playbook.
Don’t chase the immediate butterflies. They will always lie and slip away
Look for other clues. Look deeper.
Have you ever been truly single? Time to date yourself. 27 is younger than you know. Relax.
Sounds like you’re going after the wrong men. Choices have consequences and men have standards like women do whether the culture says so or not. Instead of viewing it as what you’re worth you should view it as what you have to offer that men actually look for in a relationship. Men and women are different. You’ll never find the type of man you’re looking for when you focus on things that men don’t care about.
The way you feel now will change. Dont treat it like a competition and dont compare what you have with what someone else has. Might cause you to rush into something.
Take your time and enjoy yourself , still have more than 100 years to go, its going to be a long ride.
Slow down lol
Preach! 🙌
Well that’s the paradox isn’t it? Good ones (on both sexes) get taken up quickly.
Try going after the men you are interested in, instead of limiting yourself to the players who are cold approaching you. I have a feeling that’s what you’re doing, because your complaint is a popular one that often has that same cause.
Isn’t it common to feel like this when we do something which we thought good bud ended as being bad memory and then we just furiously takes a decision not to do it again never ever them after sometime le cycle repeats the only problem I see is acknowledging the problem but refuse to work on solution cause its seems difficult/not achievable without giving up whater holding you back from changing/upgrading yourself You had break ups bad experiences twice please give yourself some time and find what worked take it as positive and what didn’t worked take it as problem and work towards to your solution and by the time you are done you will be at better position than you are in in life.
Take a break for awhile (years), my last very serious relationship was at 28. I thought we were going to get engaged, the whole nine yards.
Then I got cheated on (2nd time in a relationship). Devastating… but I’m 31 now and so happy with how things have changed. Slowly but surely making my way back to wanting to date.
There are no coincidences, everything happens for a reason.
Keep going keep trying hey ask your self what you looking for kan you match it are you a badass can do it all! Or you one them girls who are pushy self centered sometimes the problem kan be you also being dismissed about your appearance looks wardrobe also kan bring somebody down they way you eat look dress if you Always complaining about your self then they kan be a big problem to a man even if at 1st he tries to build you up and it don’t work it kan be a big deal breaker
You may have better luck with older, more established men
In a similar boat here, the pool is terrible.
The good news here is you are still young. I know that’s a very cliche saying but it’s so true.
Another popular saying is women mature at an earlier age / faster than men. This very well might be the case here since you’ve cited dating and relationships have been in your early to mid twenties.
You or future partners may not know yourselves or what you want in life very well yet. I’d just write your experiences off as just that , learning experiences.
I feel like I could go on and on here but to keep things short I’ll just say this ; good men are still out there. Yeah , some good ones come off the board early but others make dumb decisions in choosing a partner only to find they’ve wasted months if not years holding onto hope in the wrong person. Hopefully when he gets recycled back into the dating pool you’ll be there to meet him.
26M here, Cannot tell you how similar your story resonates with mine. I wonder if I need to start lowering my standards, which I really don’t want to do. I also know exactly what you mean with seeing everyone else with partners, it sucks but I try my best not to be envious. Nothing good breeds from that.
Most people here will say to just cut dating out of your life, but I feel like that is just giving up. I say keep trying different things, dating apps are, however, a plague and I don’t advise them. Anyway, good luck out there friend. We’ll both need it lol.
From someone who is 56, you are still really young to make that determination for yourself. I like the idea that others have posted that you should take a break and work on yourself for a while. Have some fun while you are at it. Just focus on other things and put dating on the back burner for a while.
After a while, you’ll have a different perspective on things and maybe the opportunity of the right guy will come along.
I’m 27 and am ending up feeling the same way. I’ve always had this deep seeded fear that I’ll end up alone and keep trying to put myself out there but have to work 4 jobs to afford to live and have no time to even date and when I do have any free time I have to spend it taking care of things and myself. Just even having the mental energy to consistently talk to new people is exhausting. It’s hard
You and I both 🥂
Trust me when I say this…….the single life, is best.
I’m mid 20’s male and never dated before (I am straight and ace), but I would really like to as I want to have a family soon.
Perhaps you could try finding people with similar interests and lifestyle? Like in clubs, hobbies/conventions, sports, school course/program, and etc.
Me personally, I would want someone who likes being outside, running, doesn’t want to party and drink often, camping. That is because these are things that interest me, so our lives wouldn’t conflict too much.
I know huh? Feels impossible …
Just because people have partners, it doesn’t mean they’re happy. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes being single is best.
I worried I would end up alone when I was in my young 20’s, but soon realized it was healthier not to base my life satisfaction on that. I focused on other things, and now I am single in my mid 30’s. For me, I’ve found myself thinking about trying to date, but I don’t feel a need to rush even now. I would like to get to a better place financially before really putting myself out there. Maybe lose a little weight. I dream of finding a laid back gal who wants a lifelong partnership, where we can work together to afford a nice life without any real financial worry and minimal stress. Just two working people with financial common sense, sharing a life together that mainly involves a cozy home, annual vacations, and a path to secure retirement for us. Because I was never active on the dating scene, I follow pages like this to learn from others about their experiences. While most of it is discouraging, I know the life I want to live. Whenever I put myself out there, it will be with those goals front and center, and hopefully that will help me find someone like-minded.
Don’t take my advice the wrong way. First off, you never quit. Just make male friends don’t even think about dating or trying to be with someone. Invite them out, stop comparing yourself with what you don’t have. The main reason why I say this is because most relationships that people are in they are not truly happy with one another. Those people are together for needs and NOT for wants. Needs: money, loneliness, materials, freedom. Wants: Love. Love takes time. You have to first start loving yourself. Dating is not a waste of time. Say 3 positive affirmations about yourself in the mirror every morning before you brush your teeth. Stay positive even if you’re having a bad day. A bad day does not equal a bad life. Be 100% yourself, screw society’s ignorance about the myths of relationships and happiness. Happiness lies in balance. Enjoy the moments in dating, because that’s what they are great moments. Don’t think long term. Don’t think about the future. Live in the present, be spontaneous about your going out plans .
It’s not worth the heartache. Most women don’t find lasting healthy partnerships. Invest in other things that make you happy: Career, hobbies, pets, family and friends, travel, learning. In your happiness you may attract the right person. Or even more likely you won’t. But you won’t have wasted finite life grieving over people who mistreat you. So many more fun adventurous things to do!
You haven’t met me yet. Seems like you tried everyone and they all disappointed you. You’re picky af but that’s you. I know a type of person that maybe you would like, but don’t know if he’s around where you’re from. I know how to tame you girl. It would stimulate your brain. You would like that challenge. Keep on trucking, you may find him
At 38, I’m feeling the same way. Even married friends hv so much stress in relationships,ppl get divorced. No guaranteed happiness. Maybe it’ll happen maybe it won’t foe me.