Why do you think he ghosted me?

TL;DR – Starting a seemingly flawless relationship with a guy I knew from years ago, somehow dies without closure.

November of last year, a random DM from a guy (age 38) I (30F) met in 2015 popped up. My sister was dating one of his best friends, so I met him at a pub that year with my sister and her bf. Him & I ended up talking and laughing the majority of the night. End of the evening, my sisters bf said that his friend told him he really liked me. I just laughed and didn’t care. I had a bf.

Him and I have had each other on FB and IG since that evening. When he DM’d me (Nov. 2021), he said he dreamt of me the previous night. We laughed about it, and then I told him to come out to a show I was going to with friends, as we share the same music interests. He didn’t end up getting a sitter for his son that night and couldn’t come.

We never stopped talking after that… Within a couple days of constant flirting and drowning eachother in laughter, he told me about that night at the pub, 2015. He said he had a blast and was extremely interested in me afterwards, but knew I was in a relationship then, so he didn’t try to pursue anything.

He then started expressing over and over on different occasions how he can’t believe we’re talking, and how perfect our bond was escalating… and I felt the exact same. We talked via text and phone calls every minute of the day unless there was a super busy day/night on either end. I can’t even pile it all into words how heavenly this was moving along. One morning he said “you know, I’ve been battling anxiety and depression over the past few years. You have started turning it all around from me. You’re there. I think we may be perfect for eachother. You help me. Your positivity and our connection is like nothing else. It feels like we’re already in a commit relationship.” Again, I felt the exact same. We ended up discovering we are so similar.. we share the same type of humor, the same sexual vibes, views, hobbies… our conversations were perfection. I never felt so fucking happy. It was a dream.

Anyway, trying to get to the end here (sorry)!… after a few weeks, we agreed I’d grab a table with friends at a large bar he works at and have a few drinks while he works. He suggested I grab his house keys and wait for him at his place to get home after he closed. So, around 2am that should be. But, he told me the day before that he ended up having to stay much longer, but I am welcome to stay and wait at his place, and that he was so happy I would even agree to do so. Hours before I saw him we were exchanging very loving, sexy messages of excitement for what’s to come.

The night I went to the bar, he was so busy that we had little interaction, understandably. I get pretty liquored. I approach him at closing time for the keys behind the bar. He says “I don’t want this to be the way our first hang out goes. Let’s plan something better.” I turn pouty and walked out. He followed me to the lobby area, apologized, and leaned in to kiss me. I turn it down, and said “I’m not going to kiss you right now!” In my mind, I want that to be a better situation for our 1st kiss. Maybe in his mind, I was being a drunk weirdo.

I text him 2 hours later, apologizing. He was overly reassuring me that everything was his fault and finished the text cute and wonderful, as usual.

I didn’t hear from him afterwards. Day 2, I sparked a convo, and he came off dry. It was really unusual. I had a few drinks that night, ugh, so to get ‘a better response’, I said “I think our vibe died” (so dumb). I didn’t feel that way at all. No reply. 3 days after that… I send him a short, loving type of ‘goodbye’ text. One part of it being “I’m not sure what I did to turn you off so quickly, but just know, blah blah blah.” No reply. He viewed my IG stories only a couple times after this, until he stopped completely. He would view and comment on everything while we were involved. 

The End. My thoughts = not too long before him & I started talking, I was in a relationship. He knew that from following me online. It popped in my mind after a while – oh, SHIT… maybe this is because I still have my ex on my FB relationship status.. and, I don’t delete the past IG posts I have with my ex. I never would anyway, they’re nice memories. Ex & I both don’t use FB anymore, and our break up was not hateful. So I suppose we both didn’t have the urge to log on and remove each other? He was removed from FB once I realized.

That night at the bar, I noticed a few of his co-workers watching our interaction. “Who is that” must have came up. He hangs out with co-workers often, so, my assumption is that he tells them my name/usernames, and they look. They see evidence of another man. Another man he knew about. He writes me off assuming I am cheating on the other man – doesn’t want to confront me. Just forget me.

I’ve cried. I’ve screamed in the car. I had sleepless nights, and I hated every notification I received for at least 1.5 months after, because it was never him. No closure. I understand I had two stupid moments, but I think my theory is the only justification that seems to make the most sense.
The reason I’m pathetically asking for opinions now, is because unfortunately, I dreamt about him last night. And the first song that came on the radio was one he sent to me. So he was on my mind a lot today. 😕

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.