So I just started dealing with this guy that I have had previous relations with before. Thing is before it was only a mutual fwb situation. He ended up getting back with his ex and respectfully told me about it before he even did. It didn’t bother me too much because I never got attached. That was over a year or 2 ago. He spent probably the past 4 or 5 months trying to get me back . Talking to me here and there . Finally about a month in a half ago I started talking to him more . Now here is where I think I may have messed up because quite honestly in the beginning I wasn’t sure what I wanted .
Because how often we were talking before hanging out I felt as if I would catch feelings if we were to get back to where we were before and I was nervous about it . He asked what’s wrong with that ? I told him it complicates everything . And if I did catch feelings I’d cutt him off he said no .. ain’t no cutting me off you can take a break if you need to . And from that I took it as him not wanting me to catch feelings . We have had sex ( which is literally the best sex I ever had in my life ) a few times now and it’s definitely happening . I caught feelings 🤦🏻♀️ the problem is after sex we will text a couple days here and there but then he disappears. If I text him we have good convo but if I don’t I don’t hear from him . I’m sure he thinks I just want to have sex with him and that’s all because that was our previous arrangement and I’m scared to scare him away with my emotions. Really I just want to hear from him here and there and thinking I don’t cross his mind when he stays on mine is driving me crazy. Should I be honest ? Or should I let it go because I honestly feel like it’s just not knowing how he feels is what is making me overthink it .
Help. But please be gentle with me 😅
2 comments
Lol. Fine. I’ll be gentle.
Yes be ACTIVELY honest. I say actively, because even if u don’t do anything, your emotions WILL come out. I mean look, they already seeped onto the internet. So why you should act instead of REact, is because if u do it now, it’s cuz u WANT to be with him. You’re CHOOSING to date.
But if u just wait until it becomes too much, it’ll eat at u. You’ll act differently. You’ll lose sleep. You’ll be torturing yourself. THEN it’ll come out, but it would be too late and like a floodgate of emotions and confusion.
Listen, you’re 37 now. You are NOT the same woman that was 35, right? Well, neither is he.
Treat this as you would any other dating relationship. Go for it and don’t live with regrets. He sounded like he wanted to be your bf, but was afraid of pushing u away…. The irony. That’s how I read it anyways.
So yeah, go ask him out before another girl does. And why he chose her over u? Simply cuz she wanted to be his gf, and not just his fuck buddy.
Make your move. You’re 37. You’re not 20 anymore. You can handle this.
If you caught feelings you’d dump him and run?
This screams emotional damage, are you certain you should be dating?