My boyfriend and I were having sex and he said her name. Granted we had just got done toking the devils lettuce and we were having a conversation about our exes earlier and our names are some what similar. He apologized profusely and told me multiple times that he doesn’t still hold feelings for her. I believe him but I still don’t know how to feel or how to proceed. It’s obvious he feels horrible about it and didn’t mean it but I still feel awful. How do I fix the situation?
34 comments
High, just talked about the names, and he has apologized. Probably nothing to worry about, tbh.
I wouldn’t worry too much about that. When I first got out of my long-term relationship of 10 years, I would occasionally call, my current wife, now, her my exes name. Or I would just say my exes name in weird situation. Like, do you want to go to the store? But I would say my exes name instead of hers. Some of it it’s just muscle memory of the brain and what we are used to. I never do that anymore and truthfully, sometimes I do it the opposite way. I’ll be telling old story about my ex and accidentally caller my current wife’s name.
As long as it’s occasional and not frequent, I wouldn’t worry about it. And especially soon after you’ve talked about the ex, I don’t think it’s a problem.
I have been in a relationship for like 8 years now and still every now and then one of us will say our ex’s name (in daily life – it hasn’t happened during sex). The brain occasionally has glitches. Neither of us has any desire to get back with our exes and are happy in our relationship, so we just laugh about it and move on.
I think he held feelings for her in a serious manner at the time of dating her. I think that it was honestly a slip-up, similar to parents calling you your sibling’s name. I understand why you are concerned of course; it’s easier analyzed by us on a keyboard than it is for you
It happens!
There are ways he could be hung up on his ex that would be concerning, but this isn’t actually one.
If this is the only worrying sign, then you fix this by reassuring yourself and, well, being reassured by others that it’s happened to on both sides. Take a look at your relationship, enjoy the positives, work on any negatives and move on with your life.
? Was he fantasizing about her?
It happens, especially if you were part of a long term relationship. Sometimes old habits randomly pop up.
Especially if he’s inebriated and not fully in control.
Lmao I did this when I first started seeing my ex. Luckily they did not notice or just didn’t say anything.
This is called Freudian slip!
The real question is “why isn’t your BF posting here,” and not you, seeking to fix this?
He apologied I know it sucks took me a while to forget, especially when my ex done it again in front of his whole family but and they had a good laugh at it.
I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything.
Let him know how hurt you are and tell him how he can make you feel better 🤷🏻♀️
But don’t dwell on it
Just a simple oopsie, ex’s name was warm in his mouth from the conversation, plus the bush’s kush doesn’t help.
yep that would be a wrap for me
I feel like men secretly think of other women while they have sex with us. I would definitely break up with him. Because who does that??
I’ve done the same, forgive him.
I accidentally said “love you, bye”, to my boss when I got off of the phone with him. I was mortified! The next day at work he laughed his ass off when I told him that it’s just a habit to say it to my loved ones when we hang up. I’ve almost said it to help center people! Caught myself though. 😅
Well you were talking about them and budding up soooooo he gets a pass
Let it go. It happens
When one of my kids does something bad, i call them by 4 or 5 names before I get theirs right. Its normal
Weird ngl
It’s hard to break the patterns our brain wires for us. I wouldn’t think anything of it unless it becomes a regular thing.
This is why sex should be saved for marriage. To him you are just another touch hole…
It’s just a role association thing that the brain does, and it happens to literally everyone. Not necessarily with ex’s names specifically, but it’s the same as calling a teacher “mom”.
My mom calls me by her younger sister’s name, my aunt’s and uncles call me by my cousin’s names, and call my cousins by my name, I’ve called some friends by my brothers’ names and vice versa, and just a couple days ago my boyfriend called me by his ex’s name. It’s all the same thing.
The brain recognizes similarities between current and old patterns of behavior, recalls memories for a split second, causing little slip ups.
You fix the current situation by reminding yourself that it meant nothing, and letting your boyfriend know that you understand that it meant nothing.
If this is the only thing, please forgive the man. Sounds like he was lost in the moment and wasn’t thinking. Profusely apologized immediately… he loves you.
Grow a pair…. get over it. He owes you one when you do it
Like you said, you know he didn’t mean it that way. he probably just had a brain fart, i suggest you both forget it, maybe let him know that all is cool.
If it happens again, then maybe something’s up
Try laughing about it. It was probably just a Freudian slip.
just move on
i don’t see why you need to fix the situation
I’m curious how it happened tbh. I was with my ex for 12 years and I think I only called her by her name a couple of times… ever. And never once during sex
Names in sex sounds weirdly formal in my head
Leave dis guy ASAP
Cripes, I can’t even keep my kids’ names straight, nor could my mom. I’ve called teachers Mom. Son called me Dad today.
It’s all good. It happens.
And yes, even in the throes of passion.
I understand feeling hurt because i would be lol. But honestly since he was high and that name was already on his mind, it was definitely an accident!
That’s okay. When I went out drinking with my bf for the first time I had slipped and called him my exs name ( I had broken up with my ex only a month ago at the time ). I was apologizing almost crying and he understood. Hasn’t happened since. It happens !
Leave him, that’s the gayest thing ive ever heard. Men, do not shout during sex, do not scream anyone’s name. Manly grunts, breathing and an occasional “ahhh” are acceptable, anything else is cringe