Hello everyone!! I’ve ( F28) been on this job for almost one year now. On the outside the job seems good and fancy but in reality I’m having a really hard time especially as time goes by. The department I’m working in let’s say belongs to the government and it’s considered a public service and because of that we neither have supervisors or managers, something that is good I know BUT we have instead ten different ppl that boss us around(including politicians), most of them are completely irrelevant and useless to my job and don’t even know me personally and in general it’s chaotic and you never find a solution. Also I work on the weekends ,on holidays(that was not in the deal) and 6/7 days a week, so I feel like I’m always there and I have no life, no day offs, no fun . We are only two people there, me and another girl(F30), we started together and we split in half the shifts. We meet only at the shift change in general, we are alone during our shifts.
Well, this girl, from the beginning gave me off vibes, like she keeps to herself but meanwhile she only cares about herself and she is antisocial. I understand that we don’t match as personalities and that’s totally fine, I don’t want to befriend her either way. But from the beginning I saw signs that she is not a team player cares only for herself(without a valid reason) , she is not corporate and always is one step ahead of me. More specifically, bc everything is about us two, we have to help each other and if one is an as**ole the other one suffers. I try to always be fair and help wherever I can , mainly at shifts but she is always so vicious. The thing is I am a very upfront person that doesn’t fear to stand up for myself most of the times and I have confronted her many times. Something that I never did to a coworker at a previous job. And still she doesn’t seem faced. She acts like she has no empathy or dignity and she continues to annoy me but not into my face but behind me.
I came to the conclusion that she must try to make me look bad to our superiors, and she plays the poor girl. She doesn’t answer directly and straight to my face and she is very sneaky and she always tries to be prepared for example to take the better shift or she sends too many emails and calls our superiors without reason. She doesn’t take a step back and plays the good employee when in reality it’s not like that. But we don’t have anyone there to check her. She is passive aggressive all the time and evil. I’ve tried everything from being nice ,try to talk to her , be rude , confront her , ignore her, nothing works it’s like she has no self respect and she plays me dirty again and again. I always have to be prepared and argue and demand things that I deserve. And she is also delusional she thinks that she is very good , very charismatic , and everyone likes her. She is pathetic actually and evil. I don’t know what else to do it’s taking a toll on me and I can’t just ignore her bc she always tries to take advantage of situations. I even asks for a shift change and again she denied bc it’s not convenient for her..hmmm. Also lately every time I confront her or try to solve basic work stuff she repeats all the time that she has very serious family problems. Ok? I wish her and her family the best but I didn’t ask. She always tries to get away with everything! I believe that it’s the first time that I despise a person like that and she makes my life more miserable and in the end I feel like the idiot. What can I do? I tried to detach but believe me it’s not that easy.
TL;DR : My coworker is unfair, I believe she talks bad about me behind and back and when I try to stand up for myself and comfort her, I look like the bad guy and employee. Also she makes plans all the time about how she can look better than me and what is convenient for her. She doesn’t answer back when I confront her and she is becoming vicious. It’s taking a toll on me, I’ve tried every approach I don’t know what to do anymore.
2 comments
I find it very strange that you call her evil twice without any concrete examples. And somehow she keeps to herself and is charismatic? The main criticisms I see is that she wouldn’t trade shifts with you; you think she communicates too much with superiors; and she talks about family issues.
The first two are non issues. No one has to trade shifts and it’s not your place to police her interactions with superiors.
If she responds to reasonable requests by talking about her family that’s a problem. Have you tried to redirect? Like oh, I’m sorry to hear that but I really need the TPS report.
Have you considered that your frustrations with her are really frustrations with the job? It sounds like the job hasn’t met your expectations (working nights and holidays, not living up to its fancy reputation) and that’s probably making her harder to deal with.
This might sound strange but sometimes someone just rubs you the wrong way and you dislike them. That’s absolutely fine but you need to keep it civil at work. For your own good try not to think too much about her.
I really dont understand what she is doing that is supposedly ruining your life? You ‘believe’ but dont know that she talks badly about you, she supposedly makes plans to look better than you but how do you know that? What does it mean she is becoming visious? Not gonna lie it kinda sounds like you are the problem.