When I was in elementary through high school I mainly only had female friends (really miss my girl friend group!) Now that I am in college, I feel that don’t really have any close friends in general because I tend to shut myself out a lot, among other factors.
Because I am an engineering major, I find myself hanging out with a lot of guys. I don’t want to sound like a ‘pick me’, but I do genuinely find it easier to talk with them than other girls now.
Whenever I try reaching out and making a new girl friend, I find it difficult. I know I can’t generalize, but I just can’t help but feel like they rather just talk to their other friends and don’t want to get to know me. I’ve also had roommates freshman, sophomore, and now junior year who don’t really fw me.
Am I too awkward? Do they not want to be my friend because I’m not as pretty as them?
At parties I see my roommates meeting other girls and getting their snapchats to go to other parties with them? I feel so awkward doing the same and I lose people’s interest very quickly. I’m worried that the only reason why guys even talk to me at parties is because they want to get laid or feel better about themselves idk…
Any advice on how to carry small talk past the few first exchanges? Has anyone had a similar experience? Why is this happening to me now? I feel my self worth as a woman lowered because other girls don’t fw me.
2 comments
Your mind is clouded with self judgement and anxiety, getting in the way of connection and free flowing conversation
I (16M) have the same problem, I can’t start a conversation and then continue it, sometimes it happens, and I can do it. I have since noticed a pattern in the starts, that the best way to start in most scenarios is to just tell the person something “random” that is connected to the place, time or event. For example at a library you can go up to a person sit next to them and ask them if they can recommend you a book to read, and from them maybe you find something else to talk about, like what they are reading and then ask questions about the book, try to engage in the conversion without forcing it. You can also ask “How often do you come here?” or “What other things do you like to do?”. And again try to come up with something random that connects to the place, the conversation or something, the reason these random things are good is because there’s a chance that you strike at the right time with the right question and you two talk for 30 minutes, and maybe even become friends.
Note: Hopefully I could help you even a little bit, because I am not very experienced in these things, and a positive feedback would very much help with my confidence and even yours, or whoever is reading this.