I can’t get over past regret from decisions I made based off of family pressure. There’s definitely a lot of resentment.
I basically went into debt to pursue a career/path I didn’t want to because my family said I would be a failure if I didn’t.
I’ve grown to realize that was a lie.
Yes, I have a good paying job and own a house, but realize it’s not what I wanted for myself.
I feel stuck in a career I don’t enjoy all because I didn’t listen to my gut early on and pursue something I actually wanted.
I’ve thought about selling my house to pay my student loans off and start over.
I’m just looking for words of advice.
3 comments
At 52, here is my advice.
If the job you don’t enjoy at all is causing you emotional and/or physical problems because of the stress. If that is the case, and it’s not just that you don’t like it, GET OUT NOW FAMILY OR NOT!
If you are only responsible for yourself (no wife and kids relying on your support) then by all means, sell the house and start over. It’s taken you ~20 years to get where you are financially today. If you’re “passion job” is of the same pay expectation, you will have another ~20 years to get where you are today and then shortly after that, you can retire.
If you have a family relying on your financials, then you need to traverse this much more carefully. Most people who are in a career they don’t enjoy at all and can’t get out, make up for that with their hobbies. I’ve kinda done that myself. If I didn’t camp, fish, and spend time in nature….
And finally, stop looking at the past choices (forced or not). There isn’t anything you can do about those and they have made you the person you are today.
Seems like you’re taken big steps in realizing why you made past decisions that you now regret.
Now, how can you use that information going forward to make better decisions? What does your gut say about what you need to change in your life? This is easier said than done, since I’m still trying to do it at 35.
> but realize it’s not what I wanted for myself.
Have you realized what you *do* want? Or at this point do you just know “not this”?
>I’ve thought about selling my house to pay my student loans off and start over.
This seems rash, but it *could* be warranted. Do you like the house and your city/neighborhood? You don’t necessarily have to do a full reset of life in order to course correct.